The Final Assault

Author : Josie Gowler

I opened my eyes. I was lying on an army bunk. My lieutenant and best friend Nick was sitting at the foot of the bed. He sat there in silence looking a cross between concerned and pissed off. With a black eye.

I got up, staggered over to the toilet behind its flimsy screen and went for a pee. When I came back out, Nick hadn’t budged.

“What?” I asked.

He glanced to his right, towards the window up above shoulder level. I hadn’t noticed it before. It was then that I spotted the view outside the room. My stomach lurched. I clutched at the wall. Sweat stood out on my forehead. The bleak expanse of the army complex laughed at me. I slumped to a sitting position, eyes closed.

Nick crouched down next to me “Why didn’t you tell me, Captain?” he asked quietly.

I ignored him. I was gulping down air like I was drowning. For all I cared, the Confederation might as well march in here right now and blow me away: they’d be doing me a favour.

“Come on Em, breathe more slowly. You’ve got to get it under control.”

The edges of my vision started to go blurry. Nick shook my arm. “Think of the war. Think of the team. You didn’t survive this long just to give in now, before the final assault.”

I nodded. Why had I assumed I’d be fine? Because I wanted to defeat the Confeds on their home turf. I felt I’d earned it, after a decade of fighting across the heavens, the loss of a hand and an eye.

“I’ll look after you,” Nick said.

I nodded again. Very slowly, I got to my feet, back to the wall. I turned round and looked out of the dorm window again. I could feel myself tense all over. But then I felt Nick’s hand on my shoulder. I had to try. For my crew. My friends.

“So how did you get that black eye?” I asked Nick as we walked through the empty dorm.

“You did it. Don’t you remember anything?”

I shook my head and stumbled outside, Nick right next to me. “Look at the ground if you start to feel funny,” Nick whispered. “And remember: the darkest hour comes just before the dawn.”

“Oh, piss off.”

“That’s my girl.” We kept walking, my heart doing funny things in my chest.

“So why didn’t the General just ship me straight out of the staging camp and back to the stars?”

“I appealed to her better nature.”

I snorted. Nick explained: “I reminded them that you’re the best tactician this side of Arcturus. If you can do that up there-” he pointed up at the sky “-you can do it down here.”

We sat down on the stone wall at the edge of the exercise area. I stared at my feet. Water had collected in a shallow puddle beside the wall.

“Can’t believe you never let on you had terraphobia,” Nick muttered.

“Can’t swim either, but no-one made a big deal of that,” I muttered back. How could I explain all the years of fear in words? My reflection looked sick. But I had a war to fight. “Let’s stay outside,” I said, every bit of my brain rebelling.

The sun set in a sea of red, the stars appeared and the moon moved its slow way right across the endless heavens. I’d never sat planetside to watch the sky before. It was all quite beautiful. Staring at the winking, blinking stars, I knew I’d make it.

 

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Guide To Alien Sex For Dummies

Author : Geetanjali Dighe

Congratulations! You are one of the lucky few who has just won the underground bestseller “The Guide To Alien Sex For Dummies”!

Trusted Industries, now in their 100th year of mining, and the sole asteroid mining company (37th asteroid mined!), are giving away “The Guide To Alien Sex For Dummies” absolutely free to 100 lucky winners as a part of their centenary celebrations.

Have you ever wondered how the Aliens do it? You have no doubt heard about the 10 hours of rapture the Aliens enjoy. Well, you now have in your hand, a chance to experience it yourself!

The Aliens are far from being mere mobile boulders. They eat asteroids and help our mining program. That rocky surface? That’s just their exoskeleton.

YOUR CHANCE FOR 10 HOURS OF RAPTURE

What we see as 10 hours of boulders on the horizon is actually 10 hours of blissful Alien Sex you have heard so much about. It’s like nothing you’ve experienced before! With this definitive Guide and the FREE Chrysalis that you have in your possession, you will master the basics of the Mating Stance within hours. Your satisfaction is guaranteed! But, hurry! This offer expires in 10 hours!

WHY IS THIS FREE FOR ME?

The Alien Digest is the longest running monthly magazine for human-alien studies – a unique collaboration between The Trusted Industries (100 years in mining) and the Alien Delegation. You are one of the lucky 100 to get this absolutely FREE.

WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?

The Chrysalis is precious, valuable and survives only for 10 hours. Within 10 hours of receiving this Chrysalis – all you need to do is eat it. It tastes like paper – a bit odd, but that’s all. (If the Chrysalis is purple, it is still viable! Please read the disclaimer before ingesting.) Go ahead, eat it. No payment required!

WHAT WILL HAPPEN ONCE I EAT IT?

Some of you might feel a mild irritation in your throat as the Chrysalis dissolves and is absorbed by your body. Slight drowsiness may be felt by some. It is best to avoid heavy work, or work that involves driving machinery. Within hours of the Chrysalis getting activated, you will be transformed into a cocoon and will soon emerge as an Alien. You will now be able to read and understand the language and expressions of the Aliens and even do the Mating Stance! But wait! There’s more! As a special favor, we have included, a one-way, one-time only, Visa Pass to the biggest mining Asteroid – K-117! Your passport to having sex with the Aliens! Go ahead eat the Chrysalis!

From the Editors Desk,
The Alien Digest,
Alien Studies Division,
Trusted Industries,
Sector 17, K-117.

Standard Disclaimer in compliance of the CAN-HARM Act:

Physical appearance changes are expected. All conditions subject to change without notice. Alien Digest is not responsible for any side effects. Caveat Emptor. The Chrysalis is the property of Alien Delegation. Chrysalis activation once ingested, cannot be reversed. By eating the Chrysalis, you agree to the terms and conditions of the Trusted Industries Alien Studies Division. Avoid exposing the Chrysalis to extreme temperature. Store in a cool dry place. Refrigerate after opening. Keep away from open flame. Avoid contact with eyes. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Celsius. Chrysalis ingestion may be hazardous to your health.

THE END

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The Time Goblin

Author : Clint Wilson, Staff Writer

Throughout the universe there are many creatures that eat other creatures. Few however match the intelligence and hunting prowess of the time goblin.

His species is incredibly rare, a solitary armless biped said to have originated from an ancient world orbiting Omnus VIII. Of his kind he is the only one still known to exist.

The time goblin is a self-regenerating super being with no set expiry date. As long as he keeps himself fed and avoids major bodily trauma, he is immortal. His kind has known of time travel since before ninety-five percent of all time traveling species in the known galaxy. And he has a particular taste, an affinity one might say, for time travelers.

He is a fierce creature to be reckoned with. He has felled and devoured giant insects in the Cygnus cluster, just as he once ate saber-toothed tiger on the plains of Earth. But his hunger these days cannot be sated so easily. Now he sits hunched over a wormhole fluctuation monitor, waiting for the ultimate prize.

Time travel by wormhole involves the breakdown and rebuilding process of moving living creatures through wrinkles in the continuum. In short, when one skips through time or space at these intervals, one comes out on the other side a whole new being. And that is what the time goblin finds so delectable.

It would seem that the breaking down of one’s living flesh into particles and reassembling them is an ultimate cleansing to the time goblin. He finds the meat of the recently transported being, whether they be Centurion beast or Epsilon high priest, irresistibly delicious.

Which brings us to Dr. James Nesmith. Not only is the good doctor the first to discover time travel for the human race; he is also the first to test its boundaries, and ultimately the last in a great long era of humankind to do so. It will be centuries before the next human scientist makes the same correct calculations.

Meanwhile in Dr. Nesmith’s lab, he keys in the final command code. He looks into the camera he has set up earlier that week and says to the empty room, “If this works I shall be sitting on the edge of a primordial sea some three and a half billion years ago in just another moment.”

The time goblin’s monitor flashes its green glow and an alarm sounds. Sol III? Now this was interesting. He didn’t think they had it in them yet. Oh well, dinner will be served earlier than expected. He sets his own coordinates, and is there fifteen minutes early.

Dr. Nesmith hangs onto the arms of the chair as the glass-walled pod shudders and then with a bright flash, the lab outside disappears. Suddenly he and the pod around him sit on a stony barren plain. In the distance steam billows as hot sea waves crash against a rocky coast. He dons his oxygen mask and opens the door.

His heart stops as from behind and above him he hears a thud, as if something wet and heavy has landed on the roof of the pod, and before he can turn around a slashing set of talons tear through his shoulder and neck like raw hamburger. And as he fades from life he hears a deep gruff voice say in perfect English, “Freshly traveled flesh is the sweetest by far. I thank you for the wonderful meal you are about to provide. Praise the balance of the universe.” And with that the time goblin pounces on him and begins to feed.

 

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The Mathematics of Future Paradox

Author : joe malone

“Can we watch Michelangelo work today?” my wife said, at the breakfast table.

“I have to go into the future today,” I said.

“The future? You said that you would never go into the future. You said going into the future is like a man opening his girlfriend’s mail. Ignorance is bliss, you said.”

“I’m only going ten minutes forward, max. To test and prove my theories.”

“Your equipment works,” my wife said. “Isn’t that proof enough?”

“We now know that we can observe the past. We can’t interact with it. We can’t change it. We can only watch it, like a movie. My calculations tell me that the same is true for the future, but I haven’t tested that yet.”

“The universe does not permit paradox, you always say.”

“My calculations prove this. Yet I must test the theory.”

“Will it be dangerous?”

“I don’t think so, but…”

“I want to be there.”

“This won’t be like our travels into the past. Nothing exciting will happen.”

“Nevertheless, I want to be there.”

I nodded.

“OK,” I said.

After breakfast, we cleaned up and dressed. Angela followed my out to my lab behind the house. The day was clear and warm.

In the lab, we sat down side-by-side, facing the counter that held my setup. I ran through my startup procedures and calibrated the central nexus. We put on our helmets.

I switched on the apparatus.

“I don’t see any change,” Angela said.

I moved the mouse and as we sat, we seemed to float backwards, so that we were watching ourselves from behind.

“I’m fast-forwarding,” I said. “Ten minutes into the future should take us only two.”

We sat quietly for two minutes. In front of us, we sat quietly for ten minutes.

I watched the timer and clicked the apparatus off after one hundred and twenty seconds.

“Now what?” Angela said.

“You saw us. For the next eight minutes, we sit here.”

“So?”

“Neither of us stands up during that time. We can test this. Do you understand?”

“Not exactly,” Angela said.

“If we can see into the future and then act to change it, we can create a paradox, just as we could if we could change the past. We know we can’t change the past. We can only observe it, observe the universe’s stored hologram of spacetime. Now, however, we’ve observed future events in that same hologram. Suppose I stand up?”

“I don’t think you should,” Angela said. “I don’t think you will. We neither of us did. We just sat there.”

I stood up. I stepped away from the chair and looked back. I was still sitting there.

“What the…,” I said, or thought I said. No sound came out.

“Perhaps you’re right,” said the me sitting in the chair, to Angela.

“No!” I said, soundlessly.

I stepped back to the chair and reached out. I couldn’t see my arm. I looked down. I couldn’t see myself. My hand passed through the me in the chair.

“My math is clear,” said the me in the chair. “The universe does not permit paradox.”

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Police Control

Author : Stefan Aeschbacher

The look down the barrel of a gun was frightening; much more frightening than I ever imagined it to be.

‘ID yourself citizen’ the cop behind the barrel barked.

I moved my left wrist, containing the ID tag, towards the reader. Much faster than I expected to. Must have been the gun. My picture and all my details appeared on the screen inside the cop’s eye. At least that’s what I guessed.

‘What are you doing here at this time of the night’ the cop asked me, as if any other time of the night would have made a difference. The curfew started at 23:00 and lasted the whole night.

‘Had to fetch medicine for my mother’ I lied
‘Medicine, I see’ he replied.

He started searching my jacket. That was bad, he would find it. My knees started to tremble. I’m sure he noticed it, but it didn’t matter anyway. After discarding some used paper handkerchiefs and my keys, he finally took it out of an inside pocket of the jacket.

‘What is this citizen!’ he shouted.
‘Nothing’, what else could I have said?
‘We’ll see about that!’

He contemplated the device thoroughly. The camouflage was good, very good, some of the best money could buy.
Nevertheless, he seemed to know what he was looking for.

‘This is no pen’ he proclaimed.
‘Sure it is’

That’s when he fumbled open the hidden cover and found the plug. It was nothing fancy at all, plain USB 8.2 nothing you expect in a pen anymore. I was surprised that he had a cable at hand. Maybe he wasn’t as regular a cop as I hoped him to be. He connected the pen to a specially secured connection analyzer. Nah, definitely no regular cop, they don’t have those.

The box started to play, at a very low volume. I recognized it immediately; it started at the top of the playlist with ‘shine on you crazy diamond’.

‘That’s settles it, you can explain this to the judge!’ he said while pressing the gun to my head.

What judge I thought, I knew the laws concerning possession of illegally copied music…

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