March 10th, 2007
Author : TJMoore
It was a Thursday. Iâ€™d just finished a little job for the landlord and I was looking through my latest copy of Dames when the bell rang. I looked at the monitor and saw a sultry blonde dish in a fancy red dress waiting at my door. Not being one to pass up a chance to get slapped I buzzed her in.
She had a nice set of gams and a tight pair of bullets. I put the magazine in a drawer and took a pull on my cigar. She walked toward me like we were old friends and I got a little apprehensive. If I forgot this doll I must be getting Alzheimerâ€™s.
She stopped in front of my desk and pulled a lipstick out of her bag. I waited for her to finish her cupidâ€™s bow and raised my eyebrows.
â€œWhat can I do for you babe?â€ I asked in what I hoped was an uninterested tone.
She smiled her ruby reds and asked â€œDo you like to dance?â€
I immediately became suspicious but decided to play along.
â€œAs much as the next Joe with two left feetâ€ I replied and blew a chain of smoke rings into the air.
â€œMaggieâ€™s having a specialâ€ she grinned; â€œFirst lessonâ€™s free if you sign up for five moreâ€
I sighed and reached for my pea shooter in my top drawer. I knew it was too good to be true.
â€œHowâ€™d you get my address?â€ I asked in an accusatory tone. â€œIâ€™m unlisted you know.â€
â€œMaggie subscribed to a bulletin board database and you were on itâ€ she replied with a little pout.
I plugged her right between her 38s and she popped like a balloon.
Damn I hated spam. Now Iâ€™d have to change my address again or buy an expensive filter. I put the BB gun back in my drawer, retrieved my magazine and propped my feet up on the desk. Iâ€™ll have to get the name of that advertising agency I thought to myself.