Author: Ruby Zehnder

Bobby aimed his drone– a 2.4 GHz RC Glow Up Stunt drone with LED lights, mini remote-controlled quadcopter with assisted landing– right at Uncle Jacob’s big fat head.

Jacob bent over to tie his shoelace at the last second, and the drone smacked Aunt Mindy right in the nose.

“Ouch,” she screeched and shot a look at her nephew that was cold enough to freeze helium.

Jacob smiled mockingly at the boy as he stood back up.

Aunt Mindy picked the object up. “What in the blazes is this?” she demanded, staring directly at her younger sister.

“It…it’s the drone Bill and I got Bobby for Christmas,” Susan stammered.

“It was only $29.88 at Walmart,” Bill added proudly.

“If you ask me, it’s a piece of junk,” Mindy said as she threw the toy at Bill.

Bill desperately dove to catch the toy, but he missed, and the toy hit the floor and a rotor blade fell off.

“Did you make Mom’s Lime Bavarian?” Mindy continued.

Every year since their mom’s passing, Mindy insisted her sister make their mother’s Christmas Lime Bavarian. It was a family favorite. So every year, Susan tried to replicate their mother’s holiday masterpiece. And every year, she failed.

The first year, the jello set too much, and the Bavarian was chewy. Year two, the Dream Whip wasn’t fluffy enough, and the Bavarian looked green and sickly like a ring of vomit. Year three… you get the idea.

Every holiday, Mindy and her wealthy husband, with their entitled lifestyle, would come, and Mindy would play food critic and make comparisons of Susan’s cooking to their mom’s epic feasts. Her husband, Jacob, would never eat a bite but would sit alone on the couch with a bottle of water in his hand.

After a few hours of complaining about the President, the price of gas, and the fact that the Bavarian looked a little pale and maybe, next year, her little sister might add a drop of green food color to make it more Christmassy; Mindy and her tall, dark, handsome husband prepared to leave.

Bobby came out of hiding, and Bill timidly made his way to his embattled wife, put his arms around her waist, and gave her a hug. He knew how upset that woman made her.

“Everything was great, honey,” he assured his exhausted better half.

“Did you notice that Jacob didn’t eat anything, again?” Susan complained as the couple put their coats on. “I think he’s afraid to eat here. We’re lowlifes, and he thinks my food will make him sick,” she continued in a low voice so they couldn’t hear.

“Ah, c’mon honey. Maybe Jacob has a stomach problem or a food allergy, and he doesn’t want to spend Christmas Day on the toilet. I know he’s weird and has no social skills, but let’s not be mean and judgmental, especially on Christmas Day,” Bill said soothingly.

Jacob and Mindy waved to the group, opened the door, and left.

“No, mom, you’re both wrong,” Bobby piped up. “He doesn’t eat because he is obviously a robot.”

Susan and Bill laughed, and Christmas Day was joyful once more.

Bobby sneaked to the front window and watched his Aunt and Uncle walk to their car. When they were sure that no one was watching, she pushed a hidden button on his neck.

When Jacob spotted Bobby peeking through the curtains, he waved.
“M-e-r-r-y– C-h-r-i-s-t-m-a-s,” Jacob wheezed as he transformed into a lunch pail.