Author : Chelsea Peloquin
I wasnâ€™t always this way, you know. It happened a long time ago, yeah, but I wasnâ€™t always invisible.
I donâ€™t know exactly when it happened. I just know that one day I realized that there were no more calls on my phone, no more voicemails or emails or snail mails, no more cares or concerns. Itâ€™s funny how a person can just disappear like that. I donâ€™t think they even remember me anymoreâ€”I walked through the house and all pictures of me had disappeared, as though I were never there.
I do know how it happened. I didnâ€™t know that Madame Mystery would be the last person to ever look me in the eye. That crazy glass eyeball of hers lolled in all sorts of directionsâ€”thatâ€™s the last thing that ever looked at me, that crazy glass eyeball. It didnâ€™t show me any emotion when I told her I wished I was invisible. It did as it was told and lolled around in its socket.
My brother was too scared to do it, but I did the dare without a second thought. He doesnâ€™t even know he had a sister now, and I donâ€™t know if there will ever be a way for me to let him know that I once existed.
Not even the mirrors remember what I look like.
I remember when people knew I existed. I remember when someone actually gave me a surprise birthday partyâ€”I can still remember tasting the cake and the cream cheese icing. It was my favorite. I can remember conversations as clearly as though Iâ€™ve just had them. I donâ€™t care what I said, but what they said stayed rooted in my thoughts and grew thick like redwood trees. I took those things for granted.
Now I canâ€™t even catch a strangerâ€™s eye on the streets.
One grows used to it, I suppose. You get used to the noise of life around you that ignores everything you do. You can go through life doing whatever you want, eating hotdogs from the stands without having to pay, stand underneath the Slurpee machines in corner stores and turn your tongue green, fart in church and the reverend keeps droning along like a bee in a hive. Last night I took a shower with the new Calvin Klein underwear model.
I suppose thereâ€™s a silver lining to every cloud.
You donâ€™t really know what youâ€™ve got till itâ€™s gone. Thereâ€™s no one else like me in the world. Even if there were, I donâ€™t think Iâ€™d know about them. Weâ€™ve all forgotten what we looked like, what we sounded like, what we wanted to do with our lives, so much so that weâ€™ve forgotten why it is that we exist. Only the lives of those around us keep us company, because we like to remember just what it was like to be able to interact.
I like to know that people still interact with each other.
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