Author : Mark Lindquist

“I’d like to order an arm, please. Left, if you have them. I’ve always liked left arms.”

“Certainly, sir. Have a seat while — oh, my apologies, that was quite rude of me.”

“Think nothing of it. It’s by choice, not by circumstance; sitting has always been highly overrated.”

“So I’ve heard, so I’ve heard. I wouldn’t wish to do without it myself, you understand, but I can see how … ah, here we are. Did you need it coloured to match?”

“I don’t suppose you have green…”

“No, sir, only the natural colours. There’s a dyist some of our patrons use that we can highly recommend, if you’re interested.”

“No matter, I have my own. Did my ears.”

“Remarkable work. Modified?”

“Not much. Standard frequencies and AM/FM radio. Decent quality, but I pick up a bit of static when I get too near a microwave.”

“Common problem, or so I’ve heard. Now, if you’ll take a look at the monitor, you can see what we have in stock.”

“The, ah, black one…”

“An excellent specimen. Professional ball player, or so I’m told. A pitcher.”

“The cost seems low in that case.”

“Well, he was right handed. But it’s still a very high quality arm. Do you play?”

“I must say — never quite got the game. I mean, I understand it … but why?”

“Quite, sir. I was never very good at it myself. Would you like to see another, then?”

“Ah… one moment. Hm. 3X23.”

“I am compelled to tell you, sir, that that is in fact a female arm. We certainly don’t oppose such things, but we’ve had some complaints from customers who weren’t aware when ordering.”

“What’s the motor control like?”

“Rated at 73%, sir. Very good for a left hand.”

“Not a primary hand, then?”

“We get very few of those, I’m afraid. Not for lefts.”

“Understandable. I’ll take it. Put it on my account.”

“Certainly, sir. Will you need that installed here or delivered?”

“Neither, thank you. I’ll eat it here.”

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