Guide To Alien Sex For Dummies

Author : Geetanjali Dighe

Congratulations! You are one of the lucky few who has just won the underground bestseller “The Guide To Alien Sex For Dummies”!

Trusted Industries, now in their 100th year of mining, and the sole asteroid mining company (37th asteroid mined!), are giving away “The Guide To Alien Sex For Dummies” absolutely free to 100 lucky winners as a part of their centenary celebrations.

Have you ever wondered how the Aliens do it? You have no doubt heard about the 10 hours of rapture the Aliens enjoy. Well, you now have in your hand, a chance to experience it yourself!

The Aliens are far from being mere mobile boulders. They eat asteroids and help our mining program. That rocky surface? That’s just their exoskeleton.

YOUR CHANCE FOR 10 HOURS OF RAPTURE

What we see as 10 hours of boulders on the horizon is actually 10 hours of blissful Alien Sex you have heard so much about. It’s like nothing you’ve experienced before! With this definitive Guide and the FREE Chrysalis that you have in your possession, you will master the basics of the Mating Stance within hours. Your satisfaction is guaranteed! But, hurry! This offer expires in 10 hours!

WHY IS THIS FREE FOR ME?

The Alien Digest is the longest running monthly magazine for human-alien studies – a unique collaboration between The Trusted Industries (100 years in mining) and the Alien Delegation. You are one of the lucky 100 to get this absolutely FREE.

WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?

The Chrysalis is precious, valuable and survives only for 10 hours. Within 10 hours of receiving this Chrysalis – all you need to do is eat it. It tastes like paper – a bit odd, but that’s all. (If the Chrysalis is purple, it is still viable! Please read the disclaimer before ingesting.) Go ahead, eat it. No payment required!

WHAT WILL HAPPEN ONCE I EAT IT?

Some of you might feel a mild irritation in your throat as the Chrysalis dissolves and is absorbed by your body. Slight drowsiness may be felt by some. It is best to avoid heavy work, or work that involves driving machinery. Within hours of the Chrysalis getting activated, you will be transformed into a cocoon and will soon emerge as an Alien. You will now be able to read and understand the language and expressions of the Aliens and even do the Mating Stance! But wait! There’s more! As a special favor, we have included, a one-way, one-time only, Visa Pass to the biggest mining Asteroid – K-117! Your passport to having sex with the Aliens! Go ahead eat the Chrysalis!

From the Editors Desk,
The Alien Digest,
Alien Studies Division,
Trusted Industries,
Sector 17, K-117.

Standard Disclaimer in compliance of the CAN-HARM Act:

Physical appearance changes are expected. All conditions subject to change without notice. Alien Digest is not responsible for any side effects. Caveat Emptor. The Chrysalis is the property of Alien Delegation. Chrysalis activation once ingested, cannot be reversed. By eating the Chrysalis, you agree to the terms and conditions of the Trusted Industries Alien Studies Division. Avoid exposing the Chrysalis to extreme temperature. Store in a cool dry place. Refrigerate after opening. Keep away from open flame. Avoid contact with eyes. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Celsius. Chrysalis ingestion may be hazardous to your health.

THE END