Author: Majoki
One cannot speak of the Universe. One can only speak of rocking chairs, carnations and a pen. This is the path to understanding. Take it on good authority.
Travel writers speak of ordeals as the ideal. I would not say that losing my tablature in Genra was an ordeal in and of itself, but the event precipitated my run in with the Pharph. Many travelers rave about Genra’s pristinity, a term I find a bit forced since the Fall Treaty of 2207 mandated any outloop of the Unified System “leave no trace” under threat of “immediate UniSys revocation.” Zero impact. Zero tolerance.
So, pristinity is the default and prevails in any outloop world. And, I must admit that Genra is particularly fresh and untouched. Chattering cacinadees give off a morning scent reminiscent of cinnamon. Iridescent gullas a hundred clicks distant waft unworried in buoyant thermals along the Tieriesien range. Industrious sticklers wrestle with dew-balls on regolith paths which weave intricately through the ancient settlement.
Genra is Old World without staleness, and I cannot help but wonder if that was why a Pharph was summoned when I reported my tablature missing. I’d set the device next to my morning tea, then been distracted by a merling hopping from a shock of thmaris near the whooping pond. I left the hostelry deck to get a closer look at the merling’s filigreed coat, and when I returned, my table had been cleared including my tablature.
Providing locals with any tech above class one is forbidden on outlook worlds. So, theft of UniSys tech is considered aiding and abetting. It was a sticky situation, and so began my ordeal, which is supposed to be the secret spice of travel.
I went to Genra to find a quiet corner in the Universe. That’s all I wanted. I didn’t need the Pharph. But the Pharph was called when I discreetly mentioned my missing tablature at the hostelry reception. The Pharph arrived promptly for there is no other way a Pharph can arrive.
It perceived me, and I felt my skin prickle like lightning about to strike nearby. Then I felt as if I’d been dunked in pudding. Overly sweet pudding. A Pharph can’t help this, but it is nonetheless off-putting. I gagged.
Steady, old man, came the reassurance of the Pharph directly into my mind. We’ll get this matter settled straight away.
It’s just been missing a moment, I mentally spluttered feeling every bit the naughty child caught.
Tut. I’ll just have a look around.
The last thing you want is a Pharph “looking around.” Normally they are forbidden to do so. That is also a mandate of the Fall Treaty of 2207, but it does not apply to outloop travelers—especially ones that have misplaced their technology.
When a Pharph is in your head, rifling through your recent memories like some big game hunter in a jaunty pith helmet and jodhpurs, you begin to understand what colonization feels like to the locals. The Pharph was unerringly polite, almost jovial, trying to reassure me: What a topper that image of those flocking gullas is! You’ve captured that well. A first rate memory, old man. First rate. You’ve got a knack. But having a Pharph knocking about in your skull is like your mother going through your dating profile. It is an emasculating experience.
The Pharph eventually found what it needed in the reflection of a stickler’s dew ball. A fimtim. The pea-brained marsupial plunged from its tree lair and snatched my device from the table, then quickly climbed back into the courtyard canopy. Fimtims hoard shiny objects in their nests. I cannot say I blame them. Those dextrous and simple-minded arboreal share much in common with us on that count.
The Pharph recovered my tablature from the fimtim’s nest and returned it to me with a too-friendly nod. We got that solved spit spot, eh. Keep an eye on those critters, what say. We wouldn’t want a literary chap like you with such cracking conceit getting revoked. And then the Pharph was out of my head and waving a friendly goodbye.
Only a Pharph had the capacity to mentally zoom into that peripheral memory of mine of the stickler’s dew ball and confirm the fimtim’s “theft.” I could have been grateful. I was not. The Pharph had parsed my memories with almost infinite granularity, and showed me that I was a book too easily read. And discarded.
The Pharph seemed to enjoy its travels through my once-pristine mind as an explorer of a place untraveled. Curious and exulting. But my mind can never be the same. Is that bad? Not necessarily. I haven’t sworn off travel in outloop worlds. But I’ll be more prepared. No tablature. Nothing but rocking chairs, carnations, a pen.
And a humility well traveled in any world less traveled.