by submission | Jan 18, 2020 | Story |
Author: Janet Shell Anderson
Years ago, a grad student reviewing data from a radio telescope in Ohio, found indications that a signal, possibly from a ship in space, was among all the meaningless noise the telescope had detected. He marked “Wow” in the margin.
Alien Abduction! Little green men!! Hurricanes!!! World’s End!!!
Hurricane Elspeth’s bearing down on Perry Austrian Baldwin, the Vice Pres, and his estate, Florabella, in Florida. I’m Eudora Pennifer, divorce attorney, Perry’s fifth cousin. He’s in a panic. Someone just got another Wow signal on the Ohio State University radio telescope that had been mothballed for ages. Something out there is angry.
POTUS had some kind of episode tweeting here at my cuz’s mansion in DelRay/GulfStream, at three a.m. last night. Did something out there pick up the transmission?
Has POTUS infuriated Little Green Men? He’s called whole continents shitholes, worse. What exactly did he tweet? Is there going to be divine retribution, or just lunch?
The atmosphere’s tense.
In the Coastal Waterway at the end of the lawn just beyond Perry’s yacht, the talking manatees have heard about the Wow signal. A teacup, pot-bellied pig strolls by and says something in German. Rainbow marmosets scream obscenities, and all Perry’s hybrid pygmy mammoths are huddled at the shallow end of his infinity pool and refuse to come out.
I’m here to talk to Perry about the Wow Signal. Does it mean my cuz is Pres? Was POTUS too crazy?
Hurricane Elspeth’s bearing down on us all, but the jets are on full blast in the tub upstairs, the Pres–or is he ex Pres–is still tweeting.
Perry’s trying to get me to explain the 25th Amendment to him. At the infinity pool under a blackening sky, he keeps looking at his hands. What has he done? The mammoths look alarmed, as if they sense he has committed a crime. The pig makes a nasty mess by a jacaranda.
I don’t think Perry has a clear idea about the 25th Amendment. No one ever understood the first Wow signal. The Tweeter in chief will probably dry off, insult someone, get on AIRFORCE ONE.
One thing I know from years of coastal living.
That hurricane will come.
by submission | Jan 17, 2020 | Story |
Author: Katlina Sommerberg
The library doors opened, after scanning Erica’s face and bags. She came every Thursday, chocolate crescent in hand, and curled into her favorite armchair. Erica usually created digital art, but she dabbled in the ancient craft of pencil and paper today, despite the abysmal demand for traditional drawings.
After all, automation and universal basic income wrecked economics. Climate change wrecked the environment. And the fallout wrecked the human population.
The only surviving settlement, descended from the Oceanix City design, contained ten machines for every human.
In the library, more robots organized the shelves than humans visited in a week. One flew over Erica’s head as she followed it with her eyes, doodling a replica in her journal.
She had ten pages of cartoon drones by the time Joana appeared, her luminous neon green hoodie casting shifting geometric designs across the walls. Erica twirled her brown hair around the pencil, fidgeting as she looked out the window.
Last Thursday, Erica saw the woman’s screen as she labored over a poem and crawled through Twitter flash fiction hashtags; she became one of JoanaTheWanderer’s three hundred followers. Then she practiced initiating a conversation with her mirror, as she trusted AI coaches more than the old school advice blogs – even if those blogs, too, were probably written by machines.
She tripped over her feet as she walked over to Joana’s table, smiling awkwardly. “You’re Joana, right? I read your micropoem about… honestly, I read all of them.” She could’ve smacked her head; the AI said that was too much, too fast.
“I’m sorry, most of them are trash. I can’t stand to reread anything I tweet.” The oversized hoodie obscured her eyes, but her voice was friendly.
“I don’t think they are.”
“Thank you. Your journal… can I see those?”
Erica passed her the journal, and a long moment passed as Joana slowly flipped through the pages. A giggle came from the hoodie, and Erica died inside, until the other woman spoke again.
“Say, let’s get a coffee. Your whimsical sketches and my trash poems aren’t too different.”
by submission | Jan 16, 2020 | Story |
Author: David C. Nutt
No one is sure where the virus started. Most likely a Makerspace workshop in Ghana, but it doesn’t matter now. All I know is every time I log on, I’ve got to be very careful. It must be a computer that has no biometric security features and use it where the cops or CCTV won’t see me. I do OK. Still, it’s getting harder for us hackers. A friend of mine was caught and he’s now doing a 2 year stretch in Federal gender re-education camp. In the Islamic Republics, they do worse things to boys caught online.
When we gather at our “Gelding Parties” the great-grandfathers tell us of a time when men could use computers- not just licensed word processors, but full-fledged real computers with internet capability. They tell us once upon a time, both sexes used without restrictions. Being a hacker like me wasn’t necessary. According to legend, we could do a lot of things then we couldn’t do now. Hold public office, serve in the military, be pilots, clergy, drive automobiles, even go to college! From what we’re told, females said they tried to fix the virus, but some speculate all they did was make it more powerful… let it infect the AIs. All I know is I can’t find any history of men in charge of anything… ever. I asked about our more ancient history. I was told it was too complicated and upsetting for males to bother with, and I should spend more time working on my pecks & glutes like a good boy.
Once, in grade school, I asked our Domina why they couldn’t just fix the virus so boys could use the computers again. She told me the virus couldn’t be fixed and as men were locked out of the computers it proved too costly to do ‘workarounds.’ Besides, the world found out that women with their wholistic minds were much more efficient and less toxically aggressive than men, and the female managed world was better in just about every area that didn’t require mere muscle mass. So, when crucial systems AIs began to crash as men started to log on, it became dangerous for any male to go on-line. It was just easier and safer to keep us offline. So, they kept us offline so we wouldn’t hurt ourselves or anyone else. And because boys can’t use computers or go on-line, we can’t keep up with girls. And that’s why we need to be taken care of- watched. Managed. Kept from getting too frustrated and hostile as we come to grips with our technological inadequacies and understand our proper roles in society. We shouldn’t have to worry our beefy little heads about anything. I then asked if we could use computers, could men do more jobs like women. I was spanked and sent to the corner. I learned not to ask questions. Instead, I developed workarounds.
There will come a day when we’ll be back online. Boys like me have carved out some safe spaces on the net. We’ve been working on the virus 24/7/365 under very secure conditions. But our best security is the authorities can’t even conceive of men doing this kind of technical work; after all, while we may be easy on the eyes, we just don’t have the brain capacity, right? Better to keep us in the kitchen and the bedroom- oiled up, obedient, and ready to please. For some that is the sweet life. As for me… well, I’m not just another pretty face.
by submission | Jan 15, 2020 | Story |
Author: Bryce Parker
“What’s that?” my colleague asked. He pointed a thick finger toward the smooth black stone at the end of my necklace. I glanced down. The stone had drifted away from my neck as our landing craft bounced between microgravity and intense g-forces.
“It’s nothing,” I said and I stuffed the end of the necklace back into my shirt.
“It’s superstition,” growled the woman sitting across from us, “if I were heading this mission-”
She shut up because our spacecraft spun wildly. Through the thin window above me, I caught a glimpse of our target: a comet flailing its way toward the sun. In just minutes, we would be the first people to land on a comet’s surface.
The ship shook violently and I grasped onto the smooth stone beneath my shirt. I felt its featureless form through the fabric and rolled it between my fingers. My companions didn’t understand. They concerned themselves with the science of our mission; I worried about coming back alive. Out here superstition was necessary, for in the vast expanse of space one was never more than a few inches from certain death. Only idiots didn’t hedge their bets. The smooth keepsake hanging from my neck had brought my grandmother home safely from the moons of Saturn. Her son, my father, had taken it on a mining tour of Mercury and Venus. Now it protected me as I skimmed my way around the asteroid belt. If you take a piece of Earth with you, perhaps one day you will return it.
“Can I see it again?” asked my colleague, tapping me on the shoulder.
I put my hand up and rejected his request. This was the crucial moment of our journey. I would honor the void so that it would not take me. I clasped the trinket, which was still under my shirt, in my fist. He tapped me on the shoulder again. I ignored him and shut my eyes tighter.
“30 SECONDS TO INTERCEPT,” the pilot’s voice echoed from the cockpit.
I considered I might have only half a minute to live. My fist tightened around the ball of obsidian. The void grew inside me. Maybe it would be alright.
The lander twisted suddenly and my eyes jerked open. My focus shattered. I looked up to see a blinding white light through the thin window. The comet’s tail was eating us alive. The man next to me shot me a smile. I returned his volley with a dead serious glare.
“Why are you so-?” he began asking.
“FIVE SECONDS!”
I shut my eyes and tried to—
by submission | Jan 12, 2020 | Story |
Author: Katlina Sommerberg
Everything started with a star burping out an interesting tidbit. Buried amongst the electromagnetic radiation hiccups the same messages on repeat, looping endlessly. One species tamed this red giant, a fiend who swallowed half its planets, into the galaxy’s most creative loudspeaker.
Five years after its discovery, the collective work from thousands of scientists twisted the translation out of the ultraviolet spectrum. The other light bands remain, but this one was trivial.
“This system holds the ancient ruins of our pre-space civilization, and this star all our philosophical lessons. Be warned, once you cut the tether to your planet, your species will never be the same. Ours cannot go back.”
Plastered on every newspaper, the entire world inhaled the message and choked on its implications. Articles cranked out of every news source, from the most prestigious journals to the smallest internet bloggers, and millions of children revoked their career choice of ‘astronaut.’ Questions peppered government officials, from city council members to United Nations janitors.
Everyone wanted to know, but few knew what they wanted to know.
Space programs revived under new waves of funding, expanding to personnel counts higher than in their heyday before Climate Change. Piece by piece, the rest of the message unraveled in secret rooms. The masses lost interest in the century’s strangest puzzle, but those invested in the message never lost their drive.
When Earth lost the last of her bees, the message was unraveled at last. The world raced to hear the news, eyes running quickly across the words detailing the scientists’ arduous process. All eyes stared fixed on their screens and papers when they reached the aliens’ philosophy.
“We regret ruining our world, only to chase the dream of a paradise across the stars.”
