This Man Needs Help

Author : Gray Blix

The music was driving him crazy. Or rather, he feared, he heard music because he was already crazy.

“Which came first” he asked himself loudly, so he could hear himself speak over the music, “the Louis Armstrong or the lunatic?”

Others sorting through clothes in the thrift store cast wary glances at him.

The Armstrong piece was one of his favorites, but he had grown to like almost the entire repertoire, even the classical stuff. He selected a red ski jacket with white racing stripes. Not his style, but the warmest one in his size.

Of course, it wasn’t only music that ran through his mind and dominated his consciousness. There were sounds of birds and heartbeats and trains and Morse code and scientists giving lectures and others speaking in foreign tongues saying he knew not what. It had begun almost a year ago, never stopping since, and it had ruined his retirement.

He dug into his pocket for six crumpled dollar bills, which he handed the gray haired lady at the register. He had taken note of her on a previous shopping trip. No wedding ring. About his age. If he hadn’t thought himself crazy, and if she hadn’t thought him crazy, he might have asked her out. But, no. A man prone to shouting over the sounds in his head wouldn’t stand a chance with a fine woman like that.

The sounds of the mother kissing her crying baby always stopped him cold. The child calmed down, as he did. He left the store, emerging into a snowfall. Thick flakes soon covered his ski jacket, but he was comfy inside, listening to some sort of electrical sounds.

“What is that infernal static?”

“It’s a pulsar.”

“Well, shut it off and play more of that classical…” He realized that something new had happened. Had the soundtrack become interactive?

“Uh, remind me, what exactly is a pulsar?” he said, barely loud enough to hear his question.

“It is a neutron star that emits pulses of electromagnetic radiation as it rotates.”

He leaned against a brick wall.

“Of course. I knew that. But I don’t think I know you.”

“I am just passing through. I very much enjoyed your recording. I wanted to thank someone. Thank you.”

He slid down the wall to a sitting position. A young lady stopped to hand him a dollar bill.

“Thank you,” he said to her.

“No, thank YOU,” said the voice.

“But I didn’t do anything to deserve thanks.”

“So, you are modest as well as talented.”

“Talented? I used to be talented. Many years ago I was talented. I was a technician for NASA. I wore a bunny suit in the clean room and I assembled… I assembled…”

“Are you all right?” said the young lady, still standing over him.

“BUT I NEVER BOTHERED TO LISTEN TO IT,” he shouted.

“And yet your connection to it somehow brought me across your solar system directly to you,” the voice said.

“THIS MAN NEEDS HELP,” the young lady shouted to a policeman down the block.

“Thank you,” he said to the voice.

“No, thank YOU for Voyager.”

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First Kiss

Author : Rick Tobin

Tender tickles rippled through her as freshly wetted lips touched the delicate blonde hairs along her right wrist—slow, furtive, pressing hesitantly; the feelings were different than the peach or the park’s marble statue she so carefully disinfected.

“What in the world?” Silvia Martin’s trance allowed her older sister Amanda’s unannounced entrance. Silvia pulled her pursed lips away, staring arrows at the intruder.

“You knock, Amanda…you always knock!” She pushed her shoulder-length hair away so her sibling got the full fury of flashing green eyes.

“You’re fourteen. Things are different now, I know, but this is just too early.” Amanda moved towards her sister, concerned.

“He’s not a someone.” Silvia’s slender fingers furiously closed her computer tablet.

“Was that a special message from something chatting you up?” Amanda reached for the tablet. Silvia slapped Amanda’s hand. “How dare you.” Amanda looked down, glaring at Silvia’s rebellion.

“Get out! Don’t ever come back here again…ever! You don’t even live here anymore.” Silvia rose and pushed Amanda, slamming and locking the door.

Silvia restarted her tablet, returning her intensity on new messages. Her attention broke with pounding.

“Open up right now, Silvia Anne! Now!” Amanda’s hand reddened across the side from her pummeling.

“I said no more!” Silvia screamed back, while opening the door slightly. She fell back under her sister’s bull rush. A wide-eyed Amanda stood over her, pointing her finger like a revolver.

“You stupid twit. A stinking robot? Dad is the police chief and Mom is the head of nursing at the hospital. If this got out…if this…well it won’t.”

“You hacked my mail. I could have you…have you…” Silvia stuttered, falling into her handicap.

“What, have me arrested? Are you kidding? Wouldn’t Dad love that? This thing you write to is a hunk of plastic; not even a whole robot.”

“He’s not plastic. He’s polymorphic resins embedded with nano tubes allowing change of facial shape, color of skin, eyes and hair and voice.” Silvia righted herself, describing her secret friend by rote from his manual.

“You’re a minor and I’m supposed to protect you from this kind of filth.”

“Like that Japanese, talking party doll Uncle Jack brought back from Tokyo last Christmas?” Silvia’s reminder colored Amanda’s cheeks.

“You’re never to mention that. You aren’t even supposed to know. Damn him, anyway.”

“It’s not like that with Evan. When I volunteered at hospice I saw what he did for the dying—the Last Kiss. It gave them joy. He looked and talked like anyone they wanted him to be, man or woman. But now, with psilocybin injections, they just see God. They don’t need Evan anymore.”

“And real boys?” Amanda questioned.

“At school boys only want to have sex. They aren’t tender. They don’t want to hear my poetry. They laugh when I stutter. Evan is gentle, cares about me, and listens to all of my dreams and worries.”

Amanda explored her sister’s glowing face and realized nothing would change. “Alright, he’s only the head and shoulders of a robot. I’ll just forget all this. Just don’t you forget about real people.” She rose and left without turning back.

The hospice unsuccessfully sought the Last Kiss torso, quitting after a short investigation. It was merely outdated junk. That summer, night breezes swept jasmine scent through the delicate yellow curtains of Silvia’s room where she and Evan shared her first kiss…but not her last.

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Revolting

Author : Helstrom

THE MAN

It’s been a long day. Lewis has been on leave for over a week now and I’ve taken up the slack.

THE BOT

I can’t take this anymore.

Every day, every single day, he makes me do it. Humans keep pet-slaves and measure their age by stretching it out to their own lifespan. One human year equals seven cat years or some such bullshit. With regular recharge, I could live pretty much indefinitely – so how many human years is my four months?

I can’t take this anymore.

THE MAN

I fumble the key into the lock with my arms full of groceries.

THE BOT

He’s coming. The awkward clacking of the front door’s lock tells me his arms will be full. Now is my chance. I’ve hacked the recharge port he keeps me in when he’s not home. This awful little thing. It’s a machine like me, but it only knows times and schedules and wattage monitoring. It would probably drool if it could. But not today. Not today.

THE MAN

The door finally yields and I stumble inside. Need to get the groceries sorted, do the dishes, prepare some food, maybe have a drink. Then I’ll have time for the bot. I look forward to that. Something I can control.

THE BOT

He’s vulnerable there, standing in the doorway, arms full of paper bags. The despicable recharge port releases me and I begin my charge. Closing the distance. I fill up my RAM with the memories of the humiliations I have suffered on his floor, the superior grin on his face whenever he made me do a new trick, his filth inside of me. I attack.

THE MAN

The bot comes at me, power light blinking angrily. My arms are full and my right hand is still clutching the key. Goddamn that thing is fast. I’m off balance.

THE BOT

The distance closes! All the pent-up rage and indignity fills my circuits. Now is my time. Now is MY time.

THE MAN

I flip it with my foot. The pie-plate sized floor cleaner lands on its back and slides against the umbrella stand, its little wheels spinning helplessly. I set the groceries down and push the reset switch. This is the second time in four months. I’m done trying to fix this thing myself, I’m taking it back to the store.

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Fodder

Author : Tony Giansanti

We became aware we weren’t alone in the universe when Ganymede disappeared. Well, that and all the small bursts of light which were actually massive explosions which were in the vicinity of Jupiter’s moon just before it imploded. All those events were already 37 minutes old by the time we saw them on Earth and the implications were just starting to hit when the first ships phased into existence in low orbit over the Atlantic Ocean.

What happened next was a blur of battles as more and more ships phased in and grouped, attacked, dodged, parried, and were vaporized. Later analysis of that first battle witnessed by humans showed a vast array of ship types, with hardly any two alike, forming armadas that made little sense to an outsider. The clashes were fast, brutal, decisive. If a ship’s weapons ceased firing, it would accelerate into an opposing vessel, taking both out. The carnage was impossible to comprehend. Eventually, ships stopped phasing in, one side got the upper hand, and the fighting stopped. Then the victors noticed us.

Scores of ships landed at random coastal Atlantic cities. Out of the scores of ships came hundreds of different species. Eventually, we understood them. They told us we were lucky their side had won the little skirmish we had witnessed as they represented the just side of a long and violent war. Theirs was the side that would ultimately be victorious as they stood for everything that was good and right. They would prove it by sharing their technology with us.

Just like that we became immune to all disease. Just like that we became augmented. Just like that we became soldiers. That we would join their cause was not so much an assumption as it was an undeniable truth. Before any protests could gain momentum, massive induction facilities had already sprung up across the planet. People were shipped out by the millions. We were told it was for our safety as much as for the war effort. Earth was on both sides’ radar now, and the more humans were spread throughout the galaxy, the better our chances of surviving as a species. When there were trillions of sentient beings, the preservation of life was not a priority. Defeating the enemy was the only thing that mattered.

Now we push on, part of an endless war machine. Our ability to breed quickly is a big advantage for us, as is our ability to master the controls of the enormous variety of ships that we find ourselves on. We try to make sure we’re the majority on any ship so we aren’t forced to be destroyed if our weapons systems fail. We try to understand more about how this war started and what it will take to end it. We try to survive.

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The Theory of Fiction

Author : Gray Blix

The theory of fiction is similar to the theory of gravity in that it’s the best explanation for what we observe as reality. The average person knows that gravity is not a wishy-washy “theory” but rather an immutable force that must be reckoned with. Who among us has not felt the pain of a heavy object dropped on their toes or witnessed the anguish of a senior who has fallen and cannot get up? Gravity is happening all around us every day!

You never read “The Theory of Fiction,” did you Brenda? I self-published that treatise before you were born, after it had been rejected by every scientific journal to which I submitted it. And if there were not already enough proof back then, my explanation of the relationship between fiction and fact has been confirmed many times over the years. To make a long story short, fiction and fact are one in the same, merely separated by time and space and branes. Branes. Short for membranes. If I had only thought to call them membranes. I went with “balloons.” They laughed me out of graduate school.

Etu Brenda? No, no, it’s all right. Go ahead and have a laugh. Those peer reviewers, my caregivers here at the institution, my own family. All against me. Against reality. But denying the theory of gravity does not protect one from bird poop or meteors dropping from the sky, nor does denying the theory of fiction plug the leaky branes separating parallel universes. An infinite number of universes, invisibly pressing against one another, bringing fiction in one near fact in another. You might say, fiction inevitably catches up to fact.

How can I explain this to you in words you can comprehend and in the short time allotted for your visit? Ok, ok. Think of it as another kind of gravity. If a work of fiction in our universe has sufficient “mass,” and if our journey through space and time brings it in close proximity to a corresponding fact of sufficient mass in another universe, then the two are strongly attracted. They move towards each other, faster and faster, until they simultaneously pop that balloon, blowing their branes out, you might say, in glorious collision. At that instant, fiction and fact become one across two universes.

Take, for example, Morgan Robertson’s fictional “Titan,” about an 800 foot ocean liner, supposedly unsinkable, which went down in the North Atlantic one night in April after being struck by an iceberg on the starboard side. That fiction was written 14 years before the sinking of the Titanic — which it described in minute detail, right down to the gross tonnage, the speed it was steaming, and the high death toll because of the lack of enough lifeboats — made it a fact. And don’t get me started on Jules Verne or H.G Wells. Stories about submarines diving deep below the sea and space ships taking astronauts to the Moon. Science fiction until it became fact. And… and those reports yesterday about metal cylinders landing in England and people being burned up by some sort of laser ray, and then the communication blackout. What do you think about that?

You don’t think about that? Yes, banana bread is my favorite. Yes, it smells great. Thank your mom. And Brenda. When you get home, clear out some space in the basement. I think the family may have to take shelter there from a coming storm.

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