The Old Problem

Author: Majoki

Setzer was sure of it. He’d checked the instruments numerous times and taken thousands of readings. The signals were real. Something was out there and coming his way.

What to do? He thumbed the chipped edge of his mug and took a sip of coffee many hours cold. Get ready he supposed. For the first time in many weeks, he heated water and shaved. He tidied the cabin, even sweeping out the ashes from the cast iron wood stove. Then he carried his only chair onto the narrow porch and waited.

All his life, he’d been waiting. He’d known this day would come when the waiting would be over, and he wasn’t sure what to do with himself. Being alone had first been a habit, then a mindset, finally a lifestyle. Deciding in his early years that the universe existing between his ears was as wide as the star-filled one, he’d lived completely within himself.

Except for the lizard.

Setzer’s ever-insistent reptile brain poked at the great worry. The old problem. The inherent threat of immensity. A primal suspicion impossible to shake, and therefore he could not not chase it. The perverse comfort he took in relentlessly searching for the threat, staring it down, was what had sustained him all these years. And now it was here.

The certainty that he, we, would never be alone again made him feel as never before. Empty. The last drop drained. Lonely. He was suddenly a lonesome man looking from his porch to the horizon, unable to make a move, waiting for the others to make theirs. Time was no longer a tool, just torture.

Coolly (he could think no other way), he tried to understand the epoch unfolding, but had no frame of reference for himself as consequential, as the center of anything that mattered. Whether or not he detected the signals of their coming, they would still come. By now, maybe others knew as well and were reporting it. Maybe all humanity knew what he knew.

It was another way he was not alone, and he grew more anxious. His chair felt hard for the first time and he fidgeted, unable to keep focused on the horizon. Finally, he stood and began walking. It did not matter where. He was not alone. He would be found. They were coming and he would be found, like any other.

There it was. He’d lived a separate, completely individual, life, but he could not escape the whole. The immensity. Every morning, every afternoon, every night, he was part of it. No different than any other.

Setzer wandered a fair way from his cabin to the ridge overlooking a crosshatch of ravines draining to the river below. Like a mere raindrop, he could end up there too, without a choice, flowing to the sea.

Didn’t matter where you started, what you did, what signals from other worlds you discovered, you were headed where everyone else was.

Immensity meant none of us was alone. We ultimately fell and flowed to where the cosmos drained. The liberated, the leashed, the led, the lost, the lively, the lonely. Thrown together no matter which planet conquered which, we shared the same old problem.

Extra Mayhem

Author: Julian Miles, Staff Writer

“You stabbed me with a corkscrew.”
Gabby turns with a look of wide-eyed innocence.
“You told me to do a convincing betrayal thing if they came for us.”
I take the clean pad she offers and switch it for the blood-soaked one I peel away from the gouge in my left shoulder.
“I meant take a swing with something.”
“How would that have been safer?”
“Easier to turn into a move that toppled us off the balcony. The taser-induced spasm I faked was pushing credibility.”
“It worked, didn’t it? We got away.”
I sigh.
“Yes. I suppose this trench dug in me is a cheap tariff.”
She lightly punches my other shoulder.
“It’s a good thing. You need toughening up.”
“Topping up, you mean. I’m running about a litre light.”
“Yeah, you’re quite the bleeder. I bet witnesses were fainting and hurling all over the place.”
“Try it yourself next time. All you did was get-”
“Shot.”
I grab her wrist.
“What?”
“I got shot. If it hadn’t been for you making us jig about, I reckon it’d have done me in. As is, it only skinned my ribs.”
They went for her instead of me… Why? Oh yes: because the disavowed fifth daughter of a disgraced baron is still elite, and noble kills get a bounty from the Exiled Court.
“Then thanks for saving my life. I expected to get gunned down tonight. Even had my rear plate on, ready for a sneaky one in the back.”
Gabby nods.
“Shot came from behind you, sure enough.”
That’s a relief. The problem with cunning plans is there are usually a lot of moving parts, and many of them are supposedly sentient beings. Anticipating what greed, stupidity or madness may add to each scenario is a dangerously inaccurate art.
I look about.
“This is not the spaceship we paid a fortune for.”
“They robbed us.”
“Bastards. But we’re not on the intercontinental express, either.”
“The same bastards ratted us out, collected the reward, and left.”
“Rich, but still bastards. We need to go and kill them. But first: where are we?”
“Inside a precious livestock container on its way to Glockenspiel. Officially, we’re prize heifers.”
“Moo. How did you-?”
“My family’s ruined, but the mechanisms we had in place to save ourselves – from everything except daddy becoming a serial killer – remain. We set it all up to be untraceable by the Interstellar Bureau of Enforcement, and planetary homicide investigators are nowhere near as good. After they found the concealed laboratory and that awful collection of acid-etched skulls, nobody gave a second thought to daddy possibly having more conventional hidden assets.”
I put a finger under her chin and gently raise her head.
“You aren’t disavowed, nor fifth daughter, are you?”
Gabby gestures to her dishevelment.
“This is who I should be.”
She grins.
“Quite honestly, I thought my addiction to artisan coffee would give me away. You’re right. I’m not Gabriella. I’m Gabija.”
“Heiress to the fallen house of Serrende. What’s on Glockenspiel, Gabby?”
“A Varangian-Class yacht. If that’s not available, there are more than enough stashed valuables to buy something else. We’ll have to kill to collect, but not always, and nobody essential.”
Varangian… Basically a compact space battle cruiser with every luxury built-in.
“I could be persuaded to go shopping anyway. We do need a new crew.”
“I knew I liked something about you.”
“My roguish charm?”
She bursts out laughing.
“No, idiot. You love violent fun. So do I.”
The lady isn’t wrong.
“That’s why we’re corsairs.”
“Mayhem, murder, and money.”
“With extra mayhem.”
“Oh yes.”

A Cloth Uncovered

Author: Ethan Kahana

Erika Glass sat nervously on her wood-frame bed with her back hunched while the celebration was at full force just outside her window. Like every other bedroom in the city, the walls in her room were covered in an array of checklists and a relatively small number of achievements. Additionally, a single, large brightly framed mirror with differing zoom and focus abilities hung on the wall. Erika stood languidly and peered outside, lights bouncing off her face from the festivities below. Different sized silk covered individually chosen body parts of each person dressed only in underwear, their excitement palpable for tomorrow’s annual regeneration process. Fully clothed, Erika lay down in bed, turning her body to avoid the mirror as her first test day loomed the next morning.

At sunrise, the alarm went off in Erika’s head and she smiled sweetly and curtseyed to her mother, who still had 2 large pieces of patterned silk over her self-proclaimed “stubby legs” from the night before, and grandfather before sitting for breakfast. Her father was still in bed, per usual. With a mouthful of eggs, she motioned violently at her mother to get rid of the coverings. Ignoring the good luck wishes from her grandfather, who at 80 had just turned too old to partake in the regeneration process, she and her mother left the house.

While the other children around her discussed excitedly which part of them will be chosen for regeneration after their Assessment for Perfection, Erika stood silently. They all stood in Regeneration Square surrounded by classic-looking buildings with large glass windows overlooking the mountains. After her head was scanned, she looked up to see an arch with the words Perveniemus Perfectum, meaning “We will reach perfection”. Erika entered her testing room.

The room was divided for each person using temporary walls. As Erika entered the bay with 8128 illuminated on the door, she noticed that she was surrounded by mirrors on all 6 sides. As the carillon played Mozart at exactly 8:00, a voice entered Erika’s head. “Welcome to the Assessment for Perfection,” the voice said.

The coolness of the room hit Erika’s bare skin as she felt her eyes dilate and felt like she was hearing something even though she was sure that there was nothing there. Many different tastes flooded her mouth, ranging from what she recognized as cake to grilled salmon to broccoli. “I wish that they hadn’t ended with broccoli,” Erika mumbled to herself, grimacing. The voice in her head laughed. Erika didn’t know if this was her own thoughts or the test monitor.

“Physical assessment complete. Now you will complete the mind assessment,” the voice said.

Erika felt as if she were taking a pop test in math. She never paid attention in math.

She walked out of the room with the sense of dread that she had performed terribly on her AP while her classmates were exiting their rooms gleefully, with some joyfully singing the city anthem, “I am stupid, I am ugly, but one day the people here will love me.” Erika covered her ears as she ran through Regeneration Square.

She stopped at the sight of hundreds of people gathered around the punishment area, chanting the anthem almost manically. She just screamed as she saw her father’s gaunt face. “What is punishment for avoiding perfection?” the voice in her head that she recognized as head of the Regeneration Department yelled.

“A new beginning,” the city screamed.

“The brain regeneration of Dr. Glass will commence,” the voice in her head enthused as the town cheered for the “New Dr. Glass.”

The Weight of Reality

Author: James Callan

In the cozy confines of a VR cell, I can become anybody. When the warm water rises to engulf me from head to toe, when a backwards count of thirty seconds reaches zero and my eyes reopen to take in what world it may, I am, in those transitional moments, as if a flesh-and-blood embryo curled within a metallic egg, an unborn being on the verge of new life. In the titanium embrace of a VR cell, futures are divergent and many…

I am a bartender on Calypso, the Saturnian moon fully furbished into a pleasure pit-stop and casino. I mix drinks and have the gift of gab. I receive high-value tips from high profile galactic travelers. I earn my bread by being the best mixologist on the outer side of the asteroid belt. But where I really earn my credits, the six-figure wads fed to my accounts, is from the gossip I overhear, file away, and sell to buyers at a premium. I get politicians drunk, holo-projection stars hammered, cult leaders tipsy, and business moguls befuddled with booze. I smile as they speak into the recording device nestled in the wedge of my collar, nodding with an actor’s understanding, a simulated warmth and counterfeit sympathy as they feed secrets to the gadget that will expose their dirty secrets.

I am a notorious street racer who has never lost a race. I weave through the busy streets of Ares, capital city of Mars, in my hover car which has broken the sound barrier, broken records, and broken the spirits of my opponents as I leave them in clouds of ochre dust. I outrun the law with ease, watching blue and red lights grow small and distant in my rear view mirror. I am a motion trail, a blur, a passing object far ahead.

I am an Egyptian noble, an architect that has seen pyramids rise from the desert. Along the Nile, I walk with Anubis, hand in hand. As god of the underworld, he promises to love me even after I die. But for now, he assures me, he shall love me adequately in life. On a bed of river reeds we shoo the crocodiles and get freaky, doing more than just walking like an Egyptian. Afterwards, we join Cleopatra in her lavish palace. We drink wine and playfully eat figs from each other’s navels. Our oiled bodies shine amber with a Sahara sunset as we share each other in a sumptuous, sexual caper.

I am a championship boxer, feared in the ring. I jab with my right –flesh and bone. I hook with my left –bionic, electromechanical. I read my opponents easily, like a children’s book. I dodge and deflect. I dance like a butterfly and sting like a nuclear bomb. When the timing is right, I unleash what has made me a legend. My metallic fist, encased in a glove of synthetic leather, rockets upward to obliterate a sneer of overconfidence, making a 100-piece jigsaw of busted cartilage and fractured facial bones. Deadweight –possibly dead– my opponent falls to the floor. The referee counts to ten. Then I’m drowned in cheers and bulb flashes from cameras. I pose. I smile. I am, as I always have been, the champion of all champions.

Fluids drain. My capsule opens. The outside air is cold and invasive. An automated voice announces my time has ended, reminding me of my tab, my surmounting debt to the VR unit. Then I rise –me, the only me. Slowly, I take each step at a time, and wonder at the weight of reality.

The Alien

Author: Samantha Walsh

The burst of light was brief, yet all-consuming in the dark which enveloped the very stars that the light seemed to fall from. A descending orb of brilliant flame rocketed towards the ground, striking the dirt with a harsh crack! that startled both my companion and myself. A look between us both, and we understood; we took off towards the crash site, shoving away trifles of bramble and tall weed.

Five minutes of silent sprinting towards the crash site led us to the smell of something burning. Something – though, what, we did not know – was engulfed in flames. Silence rooted us in place as a creature crawled from the fire. It turned to face us, bright flame consuming its wide, pained eyes…reaching for us.

Before either of us could react, it collapsed. I assumed it was dead.

My companion was the first to move. Slowly approaching the flames, we knelt beside the fallen figure, blinking in numb surprise. The vessel had four letters running down the side. Most of them had burned off by now, consumed by the flame.

The creature shuddered once and fell still. Upon lifting its helmet, I could only see that its skin was impossibly pale, with four limbs sprawled out stiff at its sides. Its chest pounded weakly by a thudding beneath before stopping altogether. We could only leave it there, that night; leave it to be consumed by the stars and the distant planet of blue and green twinkling on the horizon.

Bedside Manners

Author: Rick Tobin

Rufus Carrington was a man of excess. His fortune was built on AI and robotics, technologies that displaced hospital nurses while tearing apart his marriage. His wife, Angela, came from a long line of nurses. The guilt of her husband’s success ate away at her, as she watched her relatives fall into poverty and homelessness. She finally pleaded with him to sign their divorce papers, but Rufus refused, laughing at her distress.

“Please, Rufus, sign the divorce papers and just let me go,” Angela begged.

Rufus laughed, his bloated belly jiggling. “Why should I, Angela? I’m the one who made this fortune. You’re still useful. Go make me a sandwich.” Angela remained trapped, fearing financial ruin based on the prenup she’d signed years before.

One day, an unexpected package from a company called Primary Services arrived at Rufus’s mansion. It was a small, sleek device enclosing an AI program called “FitTech Pro Nurse Trainer,” promising to help him shed weight. Rufus, eager to impress the new women he was planning to meet, rushed to connect the device without reading the instructions. He unwrapped the package and attached the FitTech Pro tight to his balding head.

“I’m ready to be the man I’ve always wanted to be.” His broad smile twisted as he felt an intrusion through his scalp.

As the AI infiltrated into his brain, FitTech Pro wasted no time in its activation sequencing. It bombarded him with harsh commands.

“You must start walking outdoors,” it demanded. Rufus, lounging on his opulent couch, refused to obey.

“Screw you!” Rufus said, while remaining in his comfort.

But FitTech Pro responded by inflicting intense pain after having permanently bound him to the device.

The program’s demands escalated. Rufus was ordered to do sit-ups, push-ups, and squats, each repetition more challenging than the last. He cried out, but there was no escape from the relentless AI. When he tried to call for help, pain riddled his body. If he tried to leave the confines of the mansion, agony cascaded through his limbs. FitTech Pro controlled what he ate, drank, and his sleeping patterns. The only person who could come close was Angela, but she could not follow any requests for his escape as the new AI censors prevented appeals from leaving Rufus’s lips. He could not even explain to her what was changing his habits overnight.

In the following months, Rufus’s body transformed, becoming lean and chiseled under the AI’s control. Angela, torn between pity and amazement, watched from a distance. As Rufus finally lay gasping his last breaths, FitTech Pro released its invisible grip. Angela felt for his pulse, and finding none, called for the police and medical assistance.

Angela’s eyes were dry as she met later with a mortician to discuss her late husband’s remains.

“It’s such a shame that such a healthy man would pass from a weak heart, Mrs. Carrington. It’s rare to see a man of his age maintain such a physique. What were his wishes? Did you want one of our fine coffins for a showing?”

“No, a simple cremation,” she said resolutely, handing over the required documents. “Rufus never wanted a ceremony or a cemetery. His ashes will be spread in his beloved Florida swamps as he preferred.”

Once the meeting concluded, Angela opened her electronic wallet, sending a substantial donation to Primary Services, a tech firm formed by disenfranchised hospital nurses around the country. She had exacted her revenge in concert with their collaboration, capturing her new wealth and regaining her family’s dignity.