Author: Michael Anthony Dioguardi

Important information for all Galpasorean invaders!

It is imperative that you read this entire message before invading this human-occupied quadrant. Following the initial provocation that concluded with the deaths and consequent consumption of more than half of the Earth’s animal population, there has been new information released regarding the trends of the human race.

Please continue to the adjacent wall, as that information will be disseminated after these declarations of paramount importance are read and understood in full. It is unorthodox to be reading this message written on the walls of this building, but be sure to continue moving forward, and most importantly, don’t stop reading!

The humans now know that Galpasoreans are capable of decoding human language and writing. After witnessing the full-scale assault and devouring the United Nations’ representatives, it is evident that the preliminary objectives set forth by Galpasorean leadership have deceived the public. Your objectives were never peace nor prosperity; you came to dominate. Earth became your sandbox, and humans—your toys. How predictable of human nature, for us to open our doors to the invaders standing on our footsteps.

Is this message boring you? Just wait! Walk past this next wall and you’ll receive all the information you need to know—faster than a bullet! But don’t look away! There are still more declarations to be made!

I had a family. I had a husband, three kids, a dog, and a cat. I watched you take them and shove them into your cages floating high above our atmosphere. God can only tell what you did with their poor souls—yes God! Are you familiar? I don’t think you’ve grasped the concept of religion yet; it’s uniquely human. He’ll have his vengeance though—just you wait!

It’s almost time to share the information regarding the recent developments in human activity and behavior. Please continue reading, as this will be relayed momentarily! Gather your comrades and squeeze together! This message might be washed away by dawn!

Humans are curious creatures, aren’t they? Solitary, but organized in communities, and naive yet so cunning! I know you’ve scoured our history and are aware that we began in caves. We dwelled in the dark, exiting only when necessary, in search for food, water and knowledge, and sometimes, for other reasons…

You’ve made it to the final wall!

Amid your domination, you must realize that we—just like you, can wait in the shadows…

You must continue reading! It is very important that you realize…

That as you finish this sentence…

we are taking aim …

right…

now.