Author: Alastair Millar

Lemme tell you, time and cost are serious issues if you want to meet an Offworlder. Which was a problem, because I did: Earth girls are so narrow-minded. The Solar System just doesn’t exist to them. My life partner’s gotta have a wider outlook, you get? And Terra was a drag, all politics and gloom; getting out looked good.

So when my number got picked in the lottery for Planetary Partners – the OutMigration Dating Show™, I was over the moon (ha ha). Then came the vetting: brutal, man. The discovery process had them interview my exes, and dissect all my life records for “compatibility issues”. But I’m just a regular Joe, so no red flags there.

There’s eight Colonies, and I had no idea where my match would come from. I mean if it was Selene, then Luna’s only a few days away. Cool, long weekend. Anchorpoint Station at L4? that’s a month each way. But both are real modern, not frontier towns like Marsport or Mercury Base. Then again, at least those’re on planets, right? Aphrodite Station sure sounds all romantic, but Venus is a hell of a hike just to get to another boring orbital habitat. Earth’s got plenty of those: they suck. And what if my date was a methane miner on Titan? My preference runs to brains not brawn. But I didn’t fancy an egghead from the Chalice Research Centre on Ganymede, or from the Callisto Science Hub; that would be too much. I’m smart enough, but not scientist-smart, you know?

So I was pretty wound up until the deets came in, and I got paired with ‘Mandy from Mercury’. My mates said she had to be a hot date, being that close to the sun (ha ha again). SystemNet paid for text and vid messages between us (no live chat, ten minute lag each way!), and over the next couple of months we swapped life stories, chatted about hobbies, dreams, the usual stuff. All taped and analysed for the public of course, so it wasn’t quite natural. But it was okay. I had a good feeling about where things were going.

Then came our studio exit interviews, and… we both wanted to meet for real! OMG! I spent sixty days in transit and high anxiety. I was so scared that sheets of sweat were running down my back before we landed. But excited too, know what I mean? Butterflies in my stomach, like I was a teenager again. What if she was different face to face? What if she wasn’t? Was the spark a thing, or was this a waste of time?

Anyway, that was then. Here’s a selfie of us both on our first REAL date. Notice the Messenger Monument? It’s amazing. She’s amazing. This is everything I’d hoped for. She’s told me she wants me to come here, and hell yeah, I’ll do whatever it takes. Shift dirt. Do data entry. Anything. She’s worth it.

So that’s how far I went. What about you?