Author: David Sydney

Like most people, Mort hadn’t paid much attention to reincarnation. During the week, he was up to his neck in work. On his day off, as he took a leisurely drive to clear his mind, if that is the proper term, he didn’t think of the future. He had the road to consider – and, also, his cellphone.
But now that he was at ‘The Bureau’ – yes, the Reincarnation Bureau – his thoughts were abruptly focused on his next life. He didn’t want to be an ant.
That afternoon, after his car had plunged into the Delaware River not far from where Washington had crossed on his way to the Battle of Trenton years before, Mort found himself third in line at The Bureau. He’d been given a ticket and told to sit on one of the uncomfortable, molded-plastic seats.
Who knew reincarnation would begin this way? The place had the oddly-familiar feel of a laundromat or dry cleaner’s, with its inexpensive furniture.
The first person to be reincarnated became an ant. The second was reincarnated into another ant. The third, also.
The clerk called out – “FROZMAN… MORT FROZMAN.”
He approached.
“WE HAVE A RUN ON ANTS TODAY.”
Did the clerk have to shout so loudly?
The superciliously sneering clerk could read Mort’s thoughts.
“OF COURSE I HAVE TO SHOUT. YOU’RE GOING TO BE AN ANT AFTER ALL. THIS’S HOW THINGS SOUND TO AN ANT.”
If only he hadn’t been texting at the time his car plunged into the frigid water.
“AT LEAST YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORK AT YOUR UNCLE’S DRY CLEANING PLACE FROM NOW ON.”
It was true. No longer would he be bothered by other people’s dirty laundry. He could kiss his Uncle Louie and his dry cleaning goodbye. His Uncle would no longer growl at him to get off his ass and do something useful, such as clean up the storeroom, nor drone on about keeping him there only because he was his sister’s kid.
“YOU’RE AN ANT NOW, MORT. FOLLOW THOSE OTHER THREE…”
They would all be involved in a kind of Quantum Entanglement Process with an ant mound somewhere Northeast of Philadelphia. Of course, no one can really understand quantum mechanics nor explain such a process.
“TRY TO STAY AWAY FROM CARS AND CELL PHONES. AVOID RIVERS AND DRY CLEANING CHEMICALS… WHO KNOWS? YOU MIGHT HAVE A REASONABLY PLEASANT TIME UNTIL I SEE YOU AGAIN, MORT…”