Author : Andrew James Woodyard

Space whales ain’t really whales like on Earth. They look like ’em, but whales ain’t as big as no asteroid, and they ain’t filled with blue sludge. We found one floatin’ ’bout ten Earth years back out by Gloombridge 1618 in deep sleep, and let me tell you that the last thing you ever wanna do is wake one up. My skiff was hooked on its starboard side with our imagin’ probes rooted in and drillin’ deep for embryonic fluid – the cure all for everythin’ all across the universe – blue gold some call it. Me and three other guys were squeezin’ through this slimy cavity, not unlike a vagina in a lot of ways, cuttin’ toward a growth sack when it happened.

“Did it wake up?”

Nope. Some other crew cut right into our cavity. They was hooked to the other side drillin’ their own tunnel and goin’ for the same sack. We didn’t detect them when we anchored and they didn’t detect us.

“Did you shoot ’em?”

We could have, but they got lasers on us before we could draw.

“Why didn’t you just share the find?”

Are you kiddin’ me? Findin’ a space whale in the middle of nothin’ is hittin’ the jackpot. You can retire and buy your own moon if you handle it right. Besides, they were corporates and we weren’t lookin’ to make some fat cat on Earth even richer. They wanted it for their bosses and we wanted it for us.

“You coulda’ still joined forces. Made a deal.”

We made an offer: two hands work better than one and all, but they refused. I told them not to shoot or they might wake the thing, but they just laughed through their coms.

“They shot at you?”

Yup. burned my co-pilot’s arm right off, and got another guy in the head, but they missed me and cut their laser through the wall.

“How’d you get out?”

I jabbed a nerve coil with my lasersaw and woke the thing up.

“Your lying. No one would do that.”

I didn’t do it on purpose. A sleepin’ space whale is a gold mine; but all Hell breaks loose if you wake one.

“Yet you got away.”

Barely. The cavity started seizin’ and squeezin’ shut. I fired my boot rockets and blasted out of the hole back to my skiff with another guy behind me. Got out just before the cavity sealed and my skiff detached. The beast started flexin’ and unravelin’ its coils as we were blastin’ away.

“It didn’t go after you?”

No, we were lucky. I clung to a rung at the bottom of my skiff and watched as the corporate boat tried to blast away too, but the beast grabbed it and tore it to pieces.

“You’re lyin’, Leroy. You ain’t never even seen a space whale, never mind drillin’ into one.”

I ain’t lyin’. You don’t believe me then fly out toward Gloombridge 1618 yourself and you’ll find two things floatin’ around in the void: what’s left of a corporate whaler, and a whale with two sealed up drillin’ holes on each side of it’s neck with imagin’ probes stickin’ out of ’em – kinda like the Frankenstein monster.