Author : Roger Dale Trexler

The ship closed in on Earth.

They’d been there many, many times before: Easter Island, the Pyramids, and the South American crop circles. Three tweenagers looking for adventure. It was off limits for them to come to Earth, but that was the very reason they were there.

Tredac sat at the controls. “Watch this,” he said to Venso and Hu.

Venso wobbled a drug-addled tentacle at him. “You know we’re not supposed to be here,” he said.

Hu leaned forward and licked up a long strand of semi-solid pinkness off a flat metal table. His tongue rolled into his mouth and he swallowed. He let out a long, hiss-like sigh.

“That’s good Yodsplotin,” Hu said.

Tredac grinned, but thought: it’s the cheapest Yodsplotin you can buy. The stupid son of a bitch wouldn’t know good Yodsplotin from bad Yodsplotin if his mother’s life depended on it.

Still, they nudged tentacles and Tredac said: “Watch this.”

He wrapped a tentacle around a control and, on the view screen; they saw thousands of rocks lift effortlessly into the air.

“What the hell are you doing?” Venso asked.

Tredac let out a giggle. “Relax,” he said. “Have a little fun before you die!”

Venso sank back in his seat. In a moment, he leaned forward and had a lick of the Yodsplotin. “Sorry,” he said, slurring his words. “You know my Dad….”

He didn’t have to finish the statement. Everyone knew Venso’s Dad was a hard ass when it came to interfering with other planets. He kept an eye on things. But, this planet was so far off the beaten path that he would never find them.

“Whatcha gonna do with those?” Hu asked, pointing at the rocks floating in the air ahead of them.

Tredac reached out, ran his tentacle across the Yodsplotin, and then sucked the bounty off his tentacle. “These creatures are sooooo stupid,” he said. “I’m gonna lay those rocks out in a long row. It’ll freak them out.”

He reached out, took the controls and plotted a layout for the rocks. Then, systematically, the computer controlled the anti-gravity ray and dropped the rocks into long, perfect lines.

Hu let out a laugh. “They’ll be trying to explain this for centuries!” He slapped Tredac across the shoulder. “You’re so damn evil!”

“Why, thank you!” replied Tredac as he acquired another tentacle of Yodsplotin.

Just then, as they were laying the final rocks in ground, the communication claxon went off.

Tredac looked at Venso and Hu. Hu looked at the console. “It’s your Dad, man,” he said, more than a hint of fear in his voice.

“Oh hell,” Venso said.

Tredac lurched out of the pilot’s seat and let Venso take over. After all, it was Venso’s Dad’s ship, and they had “borrowed” it for a while.

Venso sat down in the seat uneasily and stared at the console. After a moment, he keyed in the code to activate the monitor.

His dad, all fat and gray like the old ones were, was grimacing on the screen. “Where are you?” he said.

“We just went out for a ride,” Venso said. “Honest.”

His father drooped his mucusy jaw. “I know where you are,” he said. “Get home…. now!”

Tredac nodded. “Yes sir.”

The video screen went blank. No one said a word for a moment. Then, Tredac let out a little scoff and said: “To hell with that old coot!”

He turned back to the controls and, ever so quickly, placed the over 3000 stones in perfect rows in the French field. “Stupid Earthlings,” he said.

##

Later, on the hyper jump home, they struck a rogue asteroid and died.