Author : Stephen LaGioia

I stand anxious and apprehensive in the corner of the hallway near the top of my front door. I crawl to the peephole and squint through it, surveying the empty sky below me and blades of grass protruding upwards, my eyes frantically searching for help.

Cars and Hovers speed past, criss-crossing one another, just far enough to be out of earshot.

I shout through an open window to a man floating blissfully across the sidewalk, but of course he is wearing headphones and too far into his own world to break his trance and help me.

Finally a voice sounds on the other end of the phone, which I have been holding to my ear for what seems like an eternity. My knuckle begins to grow tired as I clutch the phone tightly, both from rage, and to prevent the disastrous prospect of letting go.

It is a relief to no longer hear that repetitive music being played on a loop as a crackling male voice interrupts it.

Gravity by John Mayer – how original.

“GraviTech Service and Rescue. What can we assist you with today?”

“Well, for starters, you can send a Dispatcher over here immediately! I have been trying to get through for half an hour! I have a serious problem here, thanks to your capsules.”

“What do you mean, sir?”

“I mean, you sold me the wrong tablets. I bought the damn Moon Walkers and you guys must have filled the bottle with the wrong pills. Now I’m stuck on my own ceiling.”

“You mean you floated too high and can’t regain control?”

I sigh, trying to hold back an anger that threatens to boil over.

“No… I didn’t take the damn ZeroGravs. What I’m saying is that I FLIPPED and now I’m sitting on my ceiling! You people put Reversals in the Walker bottle!”

A concerned gasp could be heard on the other end.

“Our deepest apologies, sir! Do you have a receipt?”

“I got it from a GraVending… What do you think?”

“Well, unfortunately we cannot permit a return, but we will gladly replace your bottle with a bottle of Walkers. Or perhaps we can interest you in some LiteGravs? They are great for sleep; very relaxing.”

“Look, I don’t care about any of that. The only way I can relax right now is if my feet are back on my own floor! Just send someone over here right now with the Stabilizers! Maybe you people can use your damn Floaters to get here quicker.”

“Alright, alright. We are sending a GravTech Dispatcher right away. And sir? Whatever you do, DO NOT step outside your home!”

“Honestly, do you think I’m stupid?”

I slam the phone down angrily and collapse onto my back, shaking my head in disgust and staring thoughtfully up at my floor.