Author: David Sydney

It was a Friday night poker game, with only three left in the hand—Mel, Otto, and Ralph. Ralph, losing all night, was down to his last few pathetic chips. He couldn’t believe it. Mel had dealt him four aces. His problems were over. Finally, he was about to clean up.

“Hey, did anyone else hear that voice say, ‘It was a Friday night poker game, with only three left in the hand–Mel, Otto, and Ralph…?’ And then that bit about Ralph and the four aces?”

That was Otto talking.

Ralph said he didn’t have four aces, but he was lying. Mel, who was upset to have dealt Ralph the cards he thought were his, said he heard the voice too. For the past week, he’d practiced dealing out four aces to himself, but he blew it. Ralph had gotten Mel’s cards by mistake.

“Wait a minute. Did anyone hear the voice say, ‘Ralph said he didn’t have four aces, but he was lying. Mel, who was upset to have dealt Ralph the cards he thought were his…?’ And then go on to accuse Mel of cheating?”

Again, Otto questioned what was happening.

Ralph was upset. Mel was upset. And Otto, too, was especially upset. As collateral for his chips, he offered the engagement ring he’d promised Sylvia. They’d been going out for the past year-and-a-half. He told her it was a real diamond, but it was only high-class paste.

“That’s not true,” said Otto. “It’s a great ring.” He added, “I didn’t hear any voice, did you?”

Sylvia was upset. She thought she heard a voice explaining that Otto had been up to one of his tricks, offering only high-class paste. She’d planned to have any engagement ring appraised by a jeweler anyway, just to be on the safe side.

“Hold it. Did I just hear some voice say, ‘Sylvia was upset. She thought she heard a voice explaining that Otto had been up to one of his tricks…?’”

That was Sylvia questioning what was going on. She’d sworn she was faithful to Otto, but it wasn’t true.

“What?” said Otto. “Did anyone hear a voice talk about Sylvia?”

Secretly, Sylvia had been meeting Frank Cromley in inexpensive Italian and Chinese restaurants. Frank promised to come up with a ring much better than Otto’s. Also, he noted that he’d inherit his Uncle Leo’s dry cleaning business one day, in which case Sylvia would be much better off than stuck with ‘that loser’, his term for Otto. Now Frank was especially pleased to hear the voice say to everyone that Otto and Sylvia were no more.

Back at the card game, Otto asked, “Did you all hear what that voice said about Sylvia?”

“You mean Frank?”
“Otto, you mean Frank and Sylvia? That’s how I heard the voice say it,” said Mel.

As he was driving toward the dry cleaners, Frank was pleased to hear the voice say, ‘Frank was pleased to hear the voice say to everyone that Otto and Sylvia were no more.’ He slammed his foot on the brake, just to be sure he heard properly.

The driver of the Mack truck behind him heard the voice, too. Who the hell was Frank, he wondered. Was he hearing voices, or in some altered state? Who the hell was Otto? He knew no one named Sylvia. Distracted by the voice, he couldn’t brake in time to prevent the catastrophic rear-ender into Frank Cromley’s Subaru.