Author : Patricia Stewart, Staff Writer

“I don’t give a damn,” bellowed Senator Orcus as he slammed his fist onto the conference table. “They knew this day was coming, and they did nothing to prepare for it! Why the hell should we bail them out?”

“They were there for us,” retorted Senator Cura, “when our future hung in the balance.”

“That was over 10,000 years ago, when Mars colony was just beginning. None of the settlements were self-sufficient back then. And don’t kid yourself, Pellonia, they were taking much more than they were giving. They were plundering our resources when we were too weak to defend ourselves.”

“Still, we wouldn’t be here today if they hadn’t suppled us with essential consumables. We owe them.”

“The hell we do! Maybe we owe Earth of the twenty second century, but we don’t owe these selfish bastards anything. We terriformed this planet, not them. Our ancestors endured hundreds of generations of sacrifice; centuries of living in domes, surviving on next to nothing. And what were the Earthers doing? I’ll tell you. They were squandering their limited resources, poisoning their air and water, and killing each other in endless genocidal wars.”

“But what you are proposing is planetcide. That’s worst than genocide.”

“I’m talking self preservation. Earthers may be weak, but they are not impotent. We need to strike first, before they do. I have it on good authority that they are making preparations for war as we sit here on our asses. Earth will be at opposition in less than a hundred days. If we don’t attack now, it will be more than a year before the next closest approach. Their situation will be even more desperate then. I say the time for debate is over. We must vote on the war resolution now. It’s either Mars or Earth. And I cast my vote for Mars. How many of you are with me? Mars—Mars—Mars,” and the students erupted into a frenzy, chanting in rhythm with the teenager pumping his fist at the front of the classroom.

“Okay, okay, class,” interrupted the teacher, “we need to stop here for today. You two can finish up tomorrow. Cencio, that was a great portrayal of Senator Orcus, however, I must remind everyone that Orcus was a good Martian, and would never use profanity, no matter how much he was provoked by foolish, misguided individuals. Next week we’ll be switching to the Mars-Earth War. Nicolas will be reenacting Admiral Honos’ successful crusade to rid the universe of those hairless, disease ridden sub-humans. Now, remember to get your house mother to sign the Olympus Mons permission slips and bring them to school no later than next Phobosday. Class dismissed.”