Author : Duncan Shields, Staff Writer

It was too creepy. The dead should remain dead.

The questionnaires were thorough and all of the data kept and cross referenced on the laptop computer beside the projector. The A.I. program was competent. The facial animation on the computer generated recreation of the deceased was flawless. To anyone watching, it was as if the star of the funeral was still alive, smiling from the projection screen in the center of the altar in the church.

“I remember watching Star Trek with Joe.” Said Joe’s friend Ian on the microphone as part of his eulogy.

“Ha ha, yeah!” said Joe’s face from the projection. “That was awesome. Remember the one where the command crew became kids? That was some great casting.”

An awkward pause followed while Ian looked down at his speech. Joe smiled on from the projection.

“Anyway, Joe was great.” Ian finished lamely and gathered what he obviously hadn’t read yet off of the podium and went back to his seat.

“Wherever I am now, I bet I miss you all a lot.” Said Joe.

Joe’s widow Gwen sniffled and stared at the projection with her jaw set strongly and her eyes twinkling with tears. “I knew this would be a horrible idea.” She whispered through clenched teeth.

“I feel like Max Headroom up here. Anyone? Max Headroom?” Joe joked.

Joe’s parents gathered their coats and left.

The priest closed the ceremony quickly and everyone filed out quickly to eat sandwiches at Gwen’s place.

“See you at Gwen’s!” said Joe’s projection and waved.

“No you won’t.” said the priest, and turned the simulation off.

The dead should remain dead.