Random Story :
Osmo
Author: Peter Trelay As he approached the hollow, he began …
The Extinction Clause
Author: David Dumouriez
Approximately four score and seven years ago, the Luxians saw, they came and they conquered.
Well, actually they didn’t need to do much conquering. They simply made their presence abundantly clear and waited for the locals to decimate themselves in response.
Some attempted to fight them, which was noble but futile. Ultimately, though, they just fought each other. Political factions and religious groups cancelled themselves out until only the most primitive were left. It was then that what might be termed ‘an understanding’ was reached, and the planet previously referred to as earth became Protectorate 28.
And this Protectorate was certainly among the more attractive ones. A variety of climate zones and geographical features meant that it quickly became one of the Luxians’ most desirable resorts.
The business model, as ever, was foolproof. The Luxians would leave a skeleton staff behind, who would then liaise with agents back on Lux. In theory, they could also double up as enforcement officers if the locals got a bit lairy. In practice though, with their credentials already having been firmly established, this rarely happened. And especially so on Protectorate 28, whose residents were among the most feckless the Luxians had ever dealt with.
In fact, it was as much as they could do just to look after their Luxian guests. Which in itself was amusing, as that was all they had to do!
Tourism brought in everything they needed. It fed and clothed them, kept them warm or cool, and the hours weren’t even long nor the visitors demanding. But still it wasn’t enough. Whatever they had, they wanted more. And they expected to spend less and less time in pursuit of it.
Soon the reviews started to become questionable.
“I went to The Gold Coast,” one dischuffed Luxian inscribed, “and all I got was attitude. Attitude and abuse!” The memory clearly rankled. “When I politely asked one of them to open up a water slide, she flatly refused, telling me to ‘bugger off back to wherever I came from’ and reinforcing the sentiment with a hand gesture, the likes of which I’d never seen before.”
The area formerly known as Scandinavia wasn’t much of an improvement.
“Incredible scenery. Islands and mountains of the most picturesque kind. All utterly ruined, however, by the snooty and surly nature of the locals with whom we were forced to interact. Everything was too much trouble and even when assistance was granted, it was done so with a sneer.”
Others had similarly unpleasant experiences when visiting the Pyramids.
“Hordes of them. Simply hordes of them! They wouldn’t leave us alone. Constantly demanding precious metals, treats and snacks. The theme throughout was one of overpromising and underdelivering.”
Cappadocia proved to be little better.
“I lost count of how many times the locals tried to cheat us as we quietly explored the rock formations. Actually, it might be more instructive to count the number of times they didn’t.”
Finally it became obvious that the situation couldn’t be allowed to continue.
At the 95th meeting of the Luxian Travel and Tourism Committee, Director Q put it very bluntly.
“Members, upon review, it has been decided that the status of Protectorate 28 is to be revoked.”
“That’s a pity,” Deputy Director K murmured. “I was always rather fond of Southend-on-Sea …”
“Needs must, Number Two,” the Director uttered firmly. “The denizens of Protectorate 28 were given every chance. More chances, in fact, than they probably deserved. For that, they should thank the beauty of their habitat rather than any qualities of their own.”
“So … for the planet?” Secretary P asked.
“Repurposing,” Q replied.
“And the locals?”
“They haven’t fulfilled their end of the bargain. For that reason, I can see no other option.”
Q looked at the assembled members.
“Activate the Extinction Clause.”