Author : David Burkhart

He had just sat down when he felt a soft touch on his shoulder and then heard a voice near his ear saying “D-d-dance with me Henry”. He looked around at two strange eyes and said, “Get away from me, you freak!”. He twisted his glass free from the dingy sticky table and took a big swig of what was advertised to be Rigelian rum. Although the drink was absolutely the worst thing he had ever tasted, he ordered another one. After all, what could one expect at the only bar within two light-months distance.

She walked around the table, sat down opposite him, leaned forward and put her elbows on the table, cradled the sides of her face in her hands, and stared into his eyes. “I lub you.” she said. “Go away. You got a screw loose or something. I mean it. Look, you’re dripping oil all over the table. Go get fixed or something.” he replied.

“Sohry. Jesus died for you.” she said.

“No he didn’t. He is still out at the mine working his butt off. Go away.” he replied.

“OK Charlie” she said reluctantly. As she walked away with an uneven lurch in her step, he began to have second thoughts. After all the next bar was far away and she didn’t look that bad. A few more rum drinks and she would probably be the best-looking babe on this side of the galaxy even if she was leaking oil.

“Hey, aren’t you that singer?” he called after her. She turned and answered with a big smile “G-g-guys usually call me Beautiful. Dance with me Henry.”

Sure, why not dance, he thought as he chugged another rum drink. So he put an arm around her oily waist and away they danced. Or at least tried to dance. He, with a few rum drinks under his belt, and she, with some kind of a loose gear problem causing her uneven lurches. Mostly they kept trying to free their feet from gunk on the floor. And where there wasn’t floor gunk, there were Beautiful’s oily spots on the floor to avoid.

Even with their problems, they managed to perform a fairly respectable dance. There wasn’t any music except for Beautiful singing. Her singing was better than her dancing. Beautiful had been built as an elite class A singer and dancer for some very rich dude. Several years ago, she was seriously damaged during a rough landing on this asteroid. Instead of taking Beautiful all the way back to Earth for repairs, the rich guy sold her as is to the local barkeep. She has been singing and dancing with the barkeep’s customers ever since.

Henry put his arm around her, pulled her close, and started to kiss her. “H-h-hey! Take it easy cowboy! What kind of an android do you think I am? Have another drink.” she said as she pushed him away. Henry had several more drinks as he contemplated why females were always so difficult to understand.


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