Author : D.J. Rozell
Liam’s eyes wandered down the conference table of potential investors calibrating what level of formality would be perceived as both confident and competent. “OK, so there are many dating apps available. Some of them even make money. However, they all share the same two problems – they rely on user self-knowledge and honesty. Filling out a questionnaire or selecting dates from profiles requires users to know themselves and what they want. Countless studies have shown people consistently lie to themselves and others. Some of our competitors see this as a feature rather than a flaw because it ensures repeat customers. But we at SolMatch believe a lot more money can be made without resorting to cynicism. Our goal is to help every person find their actual best possible relationship.”
“So this is how it works. You download the SolMatch app. Our proprietary AI system accesses and analyses your browser history, social media presence, phone logs, and texts. From this data, the SolMatch system determines your current or most recent romantic partner and then searches all publicly available data for that person. Within 24 hours – one Earth sol – the system sends you a short narrative that explains why you were incompatible with your last partner or what is dooming your current relationship.”
“Don’t you turn off potential customers if you criticize them or their partner?” asked one of five grey suits at the table. This one was balding and wore the only tie in the room.
Liam was prepared. “SolMatch doesn’t critique people, just relationships. Besides, no one downloads the app if they are happy with their current relationship.” The suit nodded and Liam continued, “So, it turns out that diagnosing the basic faults in a relationship is not that hard for SolMatch. The general feedback from customers is amazement – how did we know their relationship so well? In beta testing, 93% of downloads go on to be paying users.” Liam let that sink in. There were several more nods around the table.
“Once we have demonstrated the value of SolMatch, we offer to find customers the best possible future relationship within one Venus Sol. This problem is much harder, so it take about eight months of machine learning to generate a reliable solution. The cost is $1 a day. Once they sign on, the app continues to track what the customer reads, texts, and posts, but also includes microphone analysis and GPS tracking. The SolMatch AI analyzes all interpersonal interactions and all movements and builds a probabilistic attribute map for each customer. At the end of the assessment, we match customers with the most overlapping attribute maps. We have generated a map for every person on the country with a digital presence, but, for obvious reasons, SolMatch customers will have the least uncertainty in their maps. We plan to have global profiles within three years.”
“What about sociopaths?” asked the only woman in the room.
“Good question. They generally avoid SolMatch because they get paired with other sociopaths, not the victims they’re looking for. Plus, SolMatch reports criminal behavior to authorities.” The remaining questions were as easily dispatched.
Later that evening, Liam stood to toast the executive team of SolMatch in a private dining room. “Here’s to our phenomenal team. Turns out SolMatch works just as well on selecting which venture capitalists to pitch as on finding a mate.” Cheers and laughs. “And some additional good news, after the meeting we were contacted by a super PAC. They’re ready to advance some real money towards selecting the ultimate relationship…the next president.”