Author: Lora Kilpatrick

Moon for Sale

Looking for space? No pun intended. 14.6 million square miles of untouched beauty (except for a few boot prints, rover tracks, and flags). Half of the property looks out into deep space—great for stargazing! The other half? WOW! Talk about views. The earth is your footstool! Current owners are selling to finance global resuscitation and solar revitalization efforts. Our loss, your gain. They aren’t making any more moons. Own yours today!

Earth for Sale

Being sold as is. Needs TLC. Natural resources exhausted but no problem for an intelligent species. A quaint fixer-upper. The planet’s sun is slightly enlarged but you could still get several millennia out of it. Previous owners did a lot of work to keep its star happy. Only the most advanced technology in solar life elongation used. If you like it hot, look no further. Property is move-in ready. There is a small population of humans that will be evicted upon transfer of deeds. No reasonable offer refused.

Gas Giant for Sale.

WIFE SAYS SELL! Beautiful Saturn sports one-of-a-kind ice rings. Comes with functioning floating helium mine. HUGE living quarters for this forgotten corner of the galaxy. 550 square feet to call home! The remodeled shower uses REAL water. Replaced oxygen generator last year. Several abandoned mines have great investor potential. Could be exotic resorts or high-security prisons or anything in between! This system’s sun is approaching red giant stage. It’s swelling a little larger than expected which means balmy weather on Saturn. Bring your sunshades and dreams with you! We hate to sell but wife wants to retire to Alpha Centauri. Saturn’s moons available under different MLS.

Black Hole for Sale

Includes 8 planets, 181 moons, and 1 ancient civilization. Great potential if you can extract them. Gravity is slightly strong. Small planet on edge of event horizon would make charming abode if you have strong suction cups. My Ancestor acquired property when it was projected to be white dwarf. It is believed the ancient civilization created the black hole after attempting to prolong the life of their sun. Rumored to be the birthplace of humanity. Historical significance.