Author: Daniel Hampton
I rested my eyes upon the tessellated sphere. It was such a beautiful dream. It was such a spectacular failure.
If the world is a golf ball, then I’m the one who drove it straight into the bottom of the lake. My club? A thing so simple, so deadly, so tempting.
My dream. It doesn’t seem like a dream anymore, but it doesn’t quite feel real either. I found my guilt overwhelming, all encompassing, ever-present, but toothless. I didn’t drown myself. I didn’t jump off the sheer cliff. There’s nobody left that would want me to.
I don’t think I’m alive. I’m not sure If I ever was. The world hasn’t ended. My world was the end. My existence, a last turn of the key, locking the coffin forever.
I can shout as loud as I please, and no one will hear me. I whisper, because I wish that I was mute.
It would be better if I had never spoke at all.
Why did they listen to me?
Why did they bet their lies on a false dream?
Why did they die before me?
Why did they live to die?
Why did my dream exist? Why did my dream kill them?
I don’t know. I don’t know that I never knew. Do I?
It was a beautiful dream.
I was Noah, I made the ark, and I took two of everything I cared to take. I threw them in a rock and set it sailing. The rock came back, with nothing but bones. I’m all out of twos. No point in throwing another rock, I suppose.
“It’s the last chance. Our last chance. The end is nigh, and I’ll take a one-thousandth chance over a one-millionth chance, wouldn’t you?”
I guess my argument was persuasive. Too bad it was wrong, and I happened to win the lottery. One in a million, I said. Well, I must feel like a million bucks now.
“Of course, I believe you. I’ll roll the dice. And if we get it right, we’ll all have a big party when we come back, ok?”
They came back, and what a big party we’re having. Me and a big pile of bones. I think I’m supposed to bury them, but I don’t know who’s who.
“Are you sure about staying? I know there’s not enough room, but this was your project, your dream!”
The worst part is the pity. I saw it on their faces. The last thing I saw on their faces. Pity. For me.
The sky is a blend of blues and greens, and the stars are hiding behind them, laughing at me. I sent my friends up to them, and they spat them back at me. I want to punch the stars in the face.
But they don’t deserve it.
I’m guessing they burned up on re-entry to the atmosphere. I still don’t know what went wrong. It was supposed to stay in orbit for years, until the clouds went away. The big rock landed on earth, and the clouds flew all around. The clouds came, and they rained water. Just water. I don’t know how. Then the sphere came around back to earth. I was embarrassed that I was so wrong, of course, but I was happy my friends were coming back.
Well, my friends came back.
And what a great party we’re having.