Of Biblical Proportions
Author: R. J. Erbacher
David rushed up in his period woolen tunic, out of breath. It had taken him forever to get there traveling by foot over the mountains into the Valley of Elah. He looked out over the two amassed armies, facing off at each other on the flat battlefield. As casually as he could he meandered down into the multitude of soldiers to the south, picked up a disregarded cloth bag of bread loaves, and started handing them out. A short time later the theatrics began.
On the opposing line of warriors, one stood up, towering above all the others, twice as tall as any other man with the girth of an ox. He was draped in shining armor and carried a shield and lance. David climbed upon a rock to get a better look.
The titan let forth with a booming voice that stung the ears of everyone that heard it. “Will anyone today, dare to come forward and challenge me to duel or will you all continue to stand there cowering like sheep in the fields!” Followed by his thunderous laughter.
When the echoes subsided David spoke out as loud as he could to the assembly, “This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I will strike you down, and I will give your dead body to the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and (blah, blah, blah…).”
David finished his soliloquy with as much verve as he could muster. It seemed to have worked as the throngs of soldiers behind him cheered and banged their weapons upon their shields. Though he doubted any of them gave him a snowball’s chance in hell of defeating the brute.
The behemoth strode forward and brazenly tossed his shield to the ground roaring with mirth as he looped his spear in spirals over his head. David clambered down off the rock and met him halfway on the trodden filed.
Reaching down into his pouch David felt the smooth metal orb. Keeping it concealed in his palm but positioning it so the micro-glass eye was between his fingers. He touched the button on top, emitting a momentary green laser beam that he positioned, unbeknownst, on the giant’s forehead. Then he rubbed his thumb along the axis, and he felt it hum into life. David dropped it into a canvas sling, spun it a few times to gather momentum then released it into the air. The projectile immediately started firing its dynamic thrusters steering it to its predetermined tracking and then it accelerated to a speed of 3,000 feet-per-second. It penetrated the thick cranium and immediately released the eruptive pneumatic air burst, turning the gray matter inside into liquid jelly.
Goliath collapsed in a ground-quaking faceplant.
The entire world was quiet for a few seconds. Then the Philistines commenced a mad scramble retreat in seven different directions abandoning swords, shields, and horses. Soon followed by whoops of joy as the Israelites charged after the fleeing horde.
David calmly strode up to the corpse, appropriated the monster’s heavy sword from its sheath, and lopped off the gargantuan head, dragging it back to one of the abandoned tents by the hair. Rooting around inside the gelatinous ooze his fingers finally came upon the plasma energy cell that was in all these alien’s skulls and unclipped it from its cable hub. He wiped it clean and examined it. Thankfully, it was undamaged. He would easily be able to jury-rig this to the engine, with plenty of power to jumpstart his ship and finally get him off this primitive, godforsaken planet.