Author: Joseph Hurtgen
In his F16, Judson Steel bore down on the speedy bulwark, the alien flying fortress that had focused its heat rays on what used to be downtown Chicago and was now within range of New York City.
“Missiles away!” cried Steel.
The tank’s armor sucked in the weapon, dispersed the blast across all of its surface area. The armor shimmered blue and then once again appeared as before.
Judson made a tight turn, headed back to try a Liberator bomb on the rogue tank.
A burst of light nearly blinded Steel. The F16 disappeared and the pilot fell through empty space. His drop was arrested by a crushing force. He was drawn painfully toward the tank. “I’ll be obliterated on the alien armor!” thought Steel. But, no, he was enveloped in liquid and soon stood before a humanoid female. She had on a pair of Daisy Dukes and nothing else to cover her green skin. “Jesus! What’d they do to you?”
“They? I’m the sole proprietor of this fortress. Jessie Heart.”
“But you’re a–”
“Woman? You’re most astute…”
“Steel, Judson Steel.”
Heart held up what looked like an iPhone and pointed its camera lens at Steel. “Any last words, Steel?”
“You can’t get away with this!” He leapt at the woman. When his hands touched her green skin, a shock hit his body, knocking him to the ground.
“Nice! That’s going to get a lot of views!”
“I shoot civilization destruction porn.”
Steel looked at Heart’s curves.
“Not that kind of porn! I raze cities and worlds, get it all on video, and then get paid through ad money.” Heart turned the camera on herself. She posed and smiled.
“You’re going to destroy Earth for views on some alien Internet?”
“Oh, not just any alien Internet. We’re a network of 500 planets.” Heart picked up a long scimitar, tested its weight. “It’s really too bad for you that your leaders weren’t faster to throw in their lot with us. But you know, can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs.”
“Our world is rich! We can give–.”
With a clean swipe, Jessie Heart sliced Steel’s head from body. She caught it all on video.
That one made me chuckle. Fun – and apt – concept.
Just as well. Saves us all a lot negotiating and diplomacy and whatnot. 🙂