Author: John Adinolfi
Jessica always wore a tinfoil hat. Everyone knew everyone’s business in Prescott Bay, but no one knew why Jessica wore the hat – which didn’t stop them from having theories.
“Look, here she comes,” called Mary Worthington. “Doesn’t she care what people are saying about her?”
Of course, when Mary said people, she meant herself. She was the ringleader of the small town’s never-ending gossip mill.
“Give it a rest, Mary,” Alice Bennett said. “Jess is just a little odd, that’s all.”
“Odd? A little odd?” Mary mocked. “Wearing white after Labor Day is a little odd. Wearing that hat is looking at odd in the rear-view mirror!”
Jessica smiled and waved to Mary and Alice as she approached. She knew what they thought and didn’t care. Each day she fashioned a new shape for her hat using foil left over from sandwiches, chicken, or slices of cheese. The cheese ones could get pretty ripe, but she figured that only added to the mystery. Today’s hat was shaped like an English bowler. She laughed to herself when she saw Mary and Alice wrinkle their noses. It was a cheese-foil day.
“Don’t worry,” Mary shouted. “That hat will protect you from alien death-rays.”
Mary and Alice hooted loudly, circling their index fingers around in the air while pointing to their heads. Jessica marveled at how unimaginative these people could be. Sure, the foil could keep death rays out – but it also provided a great conductor to let communications in. Then again, she supposed, they’d think that was just as crazy.
Jessica shrugged and continued her walk to the beach. She adjusted her hat and listened carefully to today’s instructions from the Zorfar leadership. Her preparations would be done soon. When all was ready, she’d signal the full Zorfarian fleet to land.
The takeover of these weak earthlings would be, to use one of their idioms, a piece of cake – wrapped in tinfoil, of course.