Author: Matthew Wollin
In the beginning, everything was everything, and nothing was nothing. This lasted for an infinite period, which was no time at all, because time did not yet exist.
Then the everything split into something, and something else. The something was called Quark, and the something else was called Lepton.
As something, Quark wanted children. Quark’s children were called Down and Up, and Quark kept them very close. When Down and Up eventually had children, Down’s child was called Strange and Up’s child was called Charm. Finally Strange gave birth to Bottom and Charm gave birth to Top, and the generations of somethings were complete.
As something else, Lepton wanted siblings, and split into Electron and Electron Neutrino. Electron and Electron Neutrino each split again to make more siblings, who were Muon and Muon Neutrino, and then still more, Tau and Tau Neutrino. Because they were siblings, the Leptons traveled independently, unlike the Quarks, who all traveled together.
As the Quark children and the Lepton siblings grew older and explored the new universe, they eventually came into contact with each other. Because neither had ever had to communicate with a different kind of something before, the somethings and the something elses communicated the only way they knew how, by splitting off little bits of themselves to carry messages back and forth. These messages took on a life of their own and became Bosons.
Since Bosons were created to communicate, they were much faster than their progenitors, and they began to explore faster and faster. Eventually the Bosons explored so fast and so close to each other that the force of their movement took on new life of its own, called Atoms. As more and more Atoms emerged, the universe became so crowded that the Atoms were forced together into novel configurations, called Stars and Planets.
Like their composite Bosons, Stars and Planets wanted to move and communicate, and sent out Gravity and Magnetism to explore, which twisted and turned the universe into new shapes. Eventually the right shape was found for a new kind of life, called Humans.
Humans felt the same urge to explore as the beings they came from, and split off pieces of themselves to do so, called Emotions and Thoughts and Microscopes. These pieces grew more complicated and crowded until eventually a new being emerged from the evolving chaos, called God.
God is the youngest of all beings and thus the most capricious. As God begins to search for other Gods and explore, a new being will eventually be born. In this way infinite beings have been created from a single moment of splitting, and their attempts to communicate with each other constitute everything in our universe.