by Julian Miles | Sep 5, 2022 | Story |
Author: Julian Miles, Staff Writer
The café is dimmer than usual – more bulbs have blown, and they’re expensive. There are more candles, but it’s not the same.
“What the eff have you got there?”
Davey looks up at me.
“Steak and chunky chips.”
I look at the plate in front of him. I know it’s HEMAP, HEVAC, and HESL – Human-Edible Meat Analogue: Protein, Human-Edible Vegetable Analogue: Carbohydrate, and Human-Edible Savoury Liquid – but it’s coloured up just right. Certainly looks the part.
He beckons me closer.
“Take a sniff.”
I do so. Ye gods, that smells good! It’s usually the giveaway of tarted up substitute food. It might look the part, but still smells like warm compost. I straighten up, then wave to get Hokuto’s attention.
“I’ll have one of what Davey has!”
Hokuto waves. Someone peers round him.
“You sit down, Barton. Takes my daughter time to make. You paying tonight?”
Subtle, Hokuto.
“Full tab, plus this, and a coffee.” I wink at him. He’s got a stash of freeze-dried arabica. It’s strictly for regulars, forty notes a cup, and worth every penny.
Davey raises his eyebrows.
“You’re paying your tab? Who did you kill?”
None of your business, my hardworking friend. The less you know, the better.
“Finally hit a winning streak at Johnson’s, and managed to walk away without spaffing it.”
He nods.
“Well done. I know the gambling has troubled you over the years.”
Not really, but excuses people can empathise with always work better, especially when they involve topics people expect reticence about.
“I have good days and bad days, Davey. Speaking of which, how’s your boy?”
“Looks like he’s headed for Colony Ten. That bloke he fought with has died.”
“No effing way, mate. Such a bad break.”
He nods.
“Lana is beside herself. Nothing we can do. I won’t deny the penal stipend will help, but losing our lad is hard.”
Bruno’s doing it for you. He’s got a screw loose, but working for me, he’ll spend the next ten years making Mars a safer colony – instead of getting himself executed. As for the bloke who died, he’s not a loss to this community. Thinking of that, I need to come up with a way for Bruno’s bonus to get to his folks.
Simplicity is best: I lean closer.
“Look, Bruno asked me to keep it quiet, but he’s been stashing funds with me in case his temper got the better of him, to make up for losing his tithe. As he’s going away for a while, I’d be happier if his folks had hold of it all up front. Is that okay?”
Davey hastily wipes away the tears that start from his eyes.
“Oh my lad. Such a good heart. Yes, of course it is. Bless you, mate.”
Steady on. I suspect any powers up on a cloud somewhere aren’t too impressed with me and mine. We’re the bad guys who keep things good. Vigilantes, my arse. These days, we’re essential.
by Julian Miles | Aug 22, 2022 | Story |
Author: Julian Miles, Staff Writer
“Youz wanna know how it all went down? Came ta the right place, ya did. I’m the only one left. Ended seventy years ago yesterday, it did.
“Stoat was the first. Skinny geezer, white hair, white eyebrows. Piercing eyes, like they saw right through ya.
“One afternoon, he called a meet. We arrived and there he was: sat in a big old carved chair with a black hanky on a pole tied to the left side. When we got nearer, we saw the black hanky had a thin white stripe down the middle of it. When Turnbull asked him what it meant, Stoat said we didn’t have no turf no more. Said we held a territory, he was da monarch of it, an’ da one-stripe black hanky was our banner.
“Johnny Ray asked if it was like colours, an’ Stoat said yeah, but for the people, not the fighters. Colours for the people, so they could feel like they was a proper part of the gang. But they weren’t real colours, because ya still had to bleed to earn those.”
“Thought it were a silly idea, but then I saw little Marfa – Johnny Ray and Tilda’s kid – runnin’ about all excited, wavin’ the black hanky. That day to this, I still don’t unnerstan’ what they all saw in it, but I darn sure knew they felt something I didn’t.
“Stoat said he had a vision: take over the other turfs. Add them to our territory. Said he had plans for what we could do after he ruled all the turf.
“Well, I think it was Rufus Blood, or maybe Fast Eddie, who got themselves a banner next. Come ta think on it, Rufus was first. He had a red hanky. For the blood, you know? Fast Eddie had diagonal yellow stripes on black. Like on a racer.
“Didn’t take long for every rival boss to get themselves a banner an’ start callin’ themselves ‘monarch’. Seemed harmless, until the night Takerhouse burned. It were Blood’s people. Stormed across the tracks and lit the place up with Shaker Rawl an’ his people still inside. We heard the screams from our territory. It got more twisted after that.
“Before the banners, fighters settled neighbourhood problems, kept the peace, did the negotiatin’ – and then the fighting, if the negotiatin’ failed. But havin’ banners made people think their neighbours were different. Turned ‘em on each other. It was madness for months. Hot summer, blood an’ fire, sirens every night, all night. Sometimes the dawn came like blessed relief. Unholy things got done: fighters fell to mobs, families got wiped out in rampages that swept the streets for no reason. It was like a poison spread from those banners.
“In the end, me and Turnbull went to Stoat. Asked him to burn his banner, being that he’d been the first. To set an example: end the madness. He wouldn’t. Called us traitors. When he went for me, Johnny Ray put a bolt through him. News of what we did spread fast. Rufus Blood got slung off a freight lifter by his old ladies. Fast Eddie they found in two pieces. Never did find out who or what done it.
“In the end, it only took a night to put the monarchs down. Took longer to decide what to do after. In the end, we wrapped them in their banners and buried them in a circle. Sixteen graves with matching headstones. No way to work out which boss lay where. Laid the banner madness down with ‘em. Good riddance to that evil.”
by Julian Miles | Aug 15, 2022 | Story |
Author: Julian Miles, Staff Writer
The approach panel flashes green and shows the Public Credentials of the impending caller. I call to Julie as I head for the door.
“They’re here.”
“Thank goodness.”
The relief in her voice is more than her Mental Balance counsellor would be happy with, I’m sure.
A low double chime indicates arrival, and that it’s a formal call.
I tap to open the door, then step to one side, waving the robed dignitary in.
“Thank you. I’m Servitor Andrews.”
She puts her hood down and I recognise her instantly.
“Charlene?”
The fixation of my teenage years turns and smiles at me in a distracted way.
“Montecourt… Charles?”
Ouch. Some things never change.
“My elder brother. I’m George.”
She nods.
“You have a matter that needs attending to?”
Julie rushes round the corner and grabs her hand. Half-towing, she leads her towards our gathering room.
“We were left them by George’s uncle. He got them back before the seawalls went up.”
Charlene pauses to look over the stack of black boxes and jumble of wires.
“It wasn’t disassembled by a Servitor.”
I sigh.
“My father still harbours some delusions regarding personal action outside class designations.”
She nods, her tone sympathetic.
“It’s something we encounter with the last of the first generation post-ecollapse. Don’t worry. I see no attempts to reassemble or open casings. This is not a Contravention matter.”
Julie flaps her hands in relief.
“Would you like some tea?”
Charlene stiffens.
“Are you a Vendor?”
Julie blushes.
“Sorry. I’m the designated family hostess. It’s habit.”
“Then if you happened to make surplus sufficient for a third cup while preparing for you and your partner, it would be rude of me to refuse.”
She smiles.
That’s clever. Bypassing the class statutes by using the etiquette standards.
“This shouldn’t take me long.”
With that, she moves to the pile of technology and starts to sort it. Time passes. Julie brings tea for us.
“I presume you intend to have it on display and in use here?”
I nod.
She indicates the tall black boxes.
“Place one of the tallest in each of the corners on your AV display wall. The medium-size go in the corners at the opposite end of the room. The smallest pair go halfway down the length of the room, and the cube goes against the AV wall. Try to get it as central as you can.”
It takes me a few minutes moving ornaments and display cabinets, but I finish in time to watch her wander around the room, bending to slot a small silver card into the back of each of the boxes. She sees me watching and smiles.
“Connecting wires are inefficient and overly complex. Part of my duty is to simplify where it will not affect the output.”
She checks her infocuff,
“If the two of you would stand in the centre of the room, please.”
We do so. She taps the activate panel. The AV wall lights up. A deep hum raises the hair on my arms.
The film we’d been watching last night starts from where we left off. Except, this time we’re standing within the audio. It’s astonishing. Julie makes little noises of awe. Charlene smiles.
“They called it ‘immersive sound’. Apart from being quite spectacular, these devices are now banned products due to the rare materials needed to manufacture them. Your uncle left you a valuable legacy.”
Julie looks at me and shakes her head. We’re not selling it.
Charlene smiles.
“I’ll leave you to enjoy this souvenir of a world we’ll never have again.”
by Julian Miles | Aug 8, 2022 | Story |
Author: Julian Miles, Staff Writer
There’s a queue of hopefuls outside. I didn’t allow for them. Do I tag on or what? Barely started and I hit a stumbling block.
“Ambassador Meselkis! I didn’t think you’d be able to join us!”
A glittering, immaculate form swoops down on me. I smile, giving a deprecating wave.
“I didn’t want to cause a fuss.”
“Nonsense! Follow the hoverbird. We’ll have you alongside your daughter in no time at all. It’s such a delight to have two generations of your noble line in attendance.”
Daughter? She’s meant to be on the other side of Quadrant Nine – with her father!
I zoom my eyes: she looks less than delighted to see me approaching. But, by the time we’re in normal range, she’s all smiles, shrieking delightedly and throwing herself at me.
“Daddy! You made it after all.”
The psychic lance that follows would render even a mind-guarded politician helpless.
“Your mother wanted me to remind you of something, Tona. Which gave me the excuse I needed to duck my duties and attend.”
A second, stronger lance fails to penetrate, but manages to make my shield ripple.
“Ooh. Secrets too rich for communicator webs? Do tell.”
I lean in, angling my head so only she can hear, and no-one can read my lips.
“If you could take a break from trying to turn my brain off, we might be able to help each other.”
She leans back and winks.
“For real? Better go deal with that before we party.”
We head off to one side, passing through a tall door into a long, deserted corridor. The door closes. I extend my hand.
“Taylor. Infiltrator. Feyrulanian Ops.”
She shakes it.
“Cassandra. Thief. Self-employed.”
Unexpected, but workable.
“I’m here for a data store. You?”
She smiles.
“Assorted valuables. In the vault behind the silver eagle statue in the library.”
Exactly where I’m headed, and no conflict of targets.
“How were you intending to defeat the security?”
“Stun spray the guards, then use a valid access code, followed by a selection of saliva wipes as I couldn’t get biometrics. Hoping to suss out the right blend before the console times out.”
“I intended to stun dart the guards, use a verified thumbprint, then a code cracker as saliva mixing takes too long. Hoping to get the right combination before the console times out.”
She laughs.
“My excuse for leaving early was my father calling me away.”
I can’t help chuckling: “Mine was having to rush off because my daughter’s been taken ill.”
Cassandra gestures towards the gathering.
“How about we raid the vault, rejoin the party, then exit with the crowd when the fire alarms go off because of a big fire in the library?”
I nod.
“I, being the ambassador, have a limo on call. The chauffeur is one of my team. She’ll like you. You’re her kind of crazy.”
She winks.
“Shall we go steal stuff, dad?”
“Be rude not to, kiddo.”
We dive into the back of the limousine as a burning pages drift down across the plaza.
Dix chuckles.
“You overdid the blaze again, chief.”
She points to Cassandra: “Getting a date while on mission is a first, though.”
Cassandra waves dismissively.
“Don’t mind me, I’m just hitching a ride.”
I grin at her.
“Where to?”
She grins right back: “Drop me anywhere north of the old aqueduct. I can disappear under my own power from there.”
Given the careful selection and probable value of what she stole, I’ve no doubt she’ll make a clean getaway.
“North of the old aqueduct it is. Dix? Go.”
“Sir.”
by Julian Miles | Aug 1, 2022 | Story |
Author: Julian Miles, Staff Writer
Damn them. They make you envious, make you hate yourself, your life, every breathing minute of your existence. I hated them, but it got me thinking.
How pretty is too pretty? There has to be a threshold. Under it, you’re plain or acceptably good looking. Over it, you’re a walking insult.
Insult to what?
That’s where it all opened up to me. Being pretty isn’t just about genetics – okay, they help. But the truly enraging pretty things work hard at their annoying lives. Self-indulgence, self-denial, discipline, they have it all. Even the ones without wealth are easy to spot. They work all the time to look good. Not to live. No. They just exist to make others feel bad about themselves. No purpose beyond being things for the less fortunate to aspire to.
I’ve always been good at mathematics, and my programming skills are adequate. So I sat down and wrote myself a program. Tried to make a name that would be an acronym of ‘pretty’, but gave up. Named it DEADPRETTY – and that’s when the big plan started.
A world without pretty people. Just average types getting by as we always do.
That fired me up. I spent eight years taking DEADPRETTY from basic media scanning to full profiling with illegal privileged access. For that, I got a job with the government infotech division. Read-only access with no data withdrawal was easy to arrange and conceal. I also upgraded a few things. Got promoted a couple of times. But the pretty people still grated on me.
The transfer to Janus Habitat got me where I wanted: an environment where I could stage a controlled test. Then came my first real problem: how to kill lots of people effectively?
That took me a while. In the end, I went for a two-stage process: the first makes all the people available for killing. The second sorts the pretty from those who will survive.
DEADPRETTY is my opus. It reviews a person from birth to now, evaluating every little thing they have, did, or do. After that, it calculates how pretty they are. That stumped me for a while, but in the end, a percentage was easiest: one hundred percent being the perfect pretty thing who has everything, is physically flawless, and possesses a mind able to perpetuate the crime of their existence. Most people fall in the forty to sixty percent range. For this test, I set the threshold to seventy-five.
At midnight I set the program to execute. It took complete control of the habitat in less than ten minutes. Within an hour, everybody except me was unconscious.
The assessment phase is taking longer than expected. I only have a nineteen-hour window before the next ship docks. Which is why I’m doing this, of course: to make this viable. Reprogramming the evaluation criteria is fiddly, but the predicted completion time falls to under eighteen hours.
Damn them. They even look pretty when dead! Arrayed in their gaudy clothes across the walkways and parks of Janus Habitat, their colours picked out by the intensity of the night lighting. From my drone view, they look like jewellery scattered across the ground. Beautifully irritating.
A needle stabs into the back of my neck. No! How did I…? My fingers fumble across the control boards. As my head slams down on the console, I see my life laid out on the screens. Someone’s comment is highlighted: ‘a workaholic who seems to hate everything about himself’.
Damn the pretty things. Damn them all. I never allowed for them being infectious.
