by submission | Sep 22, 2020 | Story |
Author: Shon-Lueiss Harris
You expect the world will fall apart. It’s the one thing scientists, evangelicals, and politicians seem to agree on. One day, maybe in our lifetimes, it’s all going to end.
Except it doesn’t just end.
It starts with a kid, a bag of firecrackers, and a particularly dry Saturday afternoon. Not exactly what the eggheads in D.C expect to move the doomsday clock to midnight, but life can be surprising like that.
It gets worse, so you get ready. You go to Amazon, order an air purifier, and congratulate yourself on being prepared.
The kid’s mistake turns into a natural disaster. Politicians across the globe offer imaginative connections between their opponents and the fire. They urge you to vote in an election almost a year away. They say they can save you, eventually.
You forget what shade of blue the sky is. The taste of fresh air and what breathing felt like before your chest began to burn. You remember to vote.
They say you made the right choice.
Smoke from the fire covers a third of the globe. Global temperatures drop. Farmers work desperately to grow enough food, but the ash of the dead poisons the crop.
They say the economy is booming. They call you resilient before a doctor helps them put the oxygen mask back on. If they’re trying to be subtle, it’s not working.
You catch the sunrise one morning and feel hopeful. As the day goes on that hope spoils. You realize those glorious streaks of red and orange aren’t heavenly rays. This is a new level of fear.
Somewhere in all this chaos you screw up. You hunker down thinking you’ll weather the storm, only to be Pompeiied. Maybe you decide to leave but fail to plan ahead, and instead of escaping a hellish fate, you’re baked alive in your car (you always said traffic was killing you). Then again, you could be one of the countless people who simply forget to put your mask on before running outside.
If you’re one of the survivors, congratulations. Thoughts and prayers are now on the way from an undisclosed, underground bunker. Or at least that’s probably the case. They’ve gone quiet as of late.
Something clicks. An epiphany, like scales falling from your eyes.
Nobody is coming.
And if you survive that thought — if you don’t find the nearest deadly object and end it there — then everything changes.
You get ready. A mask to protect your lungs. Goggles to keep the neighbors out of your eyes. A sturdy bag with water, food, and plenty of room for anything you find. A gun, because feeling the rubbery grip in your hand calms your nerves a little. These are the tools with which you’ll forge a future.
The outside world is unrecognizable. You see grey skies. Not overcast, but a blanket of smoke so thick that you wonder if the sun has abandoned you, too. A sickly haze looms over the scorched earth like an empty pan forgotten on the stove, left to burn. It’s all a muddy blur of black and brown shapes obscured by a warped, grey film.
It’s a cold, empty ruin of a place.
But you walk out anyway. Maybe you doubt everything could just burn away. Could it be you’re hopeful, despite all that you have seen? Whatever your mental state, you put foot in front of foot. You feel something under your boot.
One small step. One small plant.
You smile.
by submission | Sep 20, 2020 | Story |
Author: Ken Poyner
I start evenings at six o’clock. Delta is usually on her porch in her shimmering yellow superhero costume. I excitedly wave and holler, “Good evening, Delta. Good day in the City?”
She may not have gotten that day into the city, but she will say “Evening. Absolutely!”, adding the exclamation point whether she made it into the city or not. She carries a shield and two sets of bolos, and sometimes she just does not care to lug all that on the bus, so she hangs out on her porch and pretends she went in to work in the city as one of its superheroes.
I walk to work, since it is just a casual stroll to Forest Lawn Cemetery, less than four blocks down and one street over. Six to two, I walk the dead. Not zombies. Just confused dead who like to get out, but don’t really have their own plan for doing so.
There are not many who choose this profession. Most, like Delta, take an identity as a superhero, or supervillain, or some shapeshifter. Not much glory in walking the dead; but, if I did not do it, likely no one would. My other neighbor, Jim, is a deadeye sheriff. It works for him, but I have no envy.
Tonight, first on my schedule is a girl who died in the last yellow fever epidemic. Lucky to be in Forest Lawn, as so many died in the plague that they committed quite a few to mass graves. Walkers almost never get out to mass graves. A bit confusing. Sometimes not even the dead know who they are. Hard to tell everyone apart.
Just a quick light-hearted promenade around the block, a little small talk. After her, a recent internment: a real estate broker who died mid-real estate deal and who hasn’t finally gotten over not making that last sale.
I try to listen attentively. I offer confirmation. I nod in agreement. There would not be much to break their morbid monotony otherwise. It is a simple job – but, to them, I am some kind of hero, the essential number that allows them to have a viable mathematics. They know I could have chosen some other ego archetype – fought crime, solved mysteries, kept the world safe, plotted world destruction, whatever. But someone has to look in on the world’s less glamorous needs.
I get to the cemetery and the ground is just opening up. Seven appointments, with a break at midnight for dinner. Sometimes I sit with some random corpse while I eat, happily on the job even when I am not on the clock.
No, no costume, no appliances. Think shoes. Shoes. The salesman at Belmont’s who sold me on these low arch walking shoes: now, he is the real hero. Knew just what would work for me. No bright colors, but a good solid durable shoe that doesn’t cry after a long walk. Laces that stay tied, not those tubular ones that work themselves free after a few blocks. Good advice taken. I could never rely on Jim or Delta for those flavors of decision. You have got to give full credit to where a real value lies. Shoes.
by submission | Sep 19, 2020 | Story |
Author: Nicholas Schroeder
Dr. Sellars set up the teleportation machine. He was done waiting. It was time to test it. He powered up and stepped inside. The system initiated and vibratrons filled the chamber. “Here we go.”
“Countdown: 5, 4, 3, 2, … System Error!” The machine aborted sending a powerful energy wave collapsing the ceiling.
Two identical bodies emerged from the rubble.
“My head.”
“My head.”
They pointed at each other. “A copy!”
“A copy!”
“What! I’m not a copy.”
Dr. Sellars (1) examined Dr. Sellars (2). “Yes you are.”
“No, I’m the one that stepped into the machine. I’m the original.”
Dr. Sellars (1) wiped the grime off his face. “I’m the original.”
“Well, who is closer to the machine?”
“I don’t know, the explosion flung us.”
Dr. Sellars (2) wiped the grime off his face. “Where we unconscious?”
“I believe so.”
Dr. Sellars (1) ran over to the machine. “It’s destroyed.”
“What the hell happened. Did it split us?”
“No, it didn’t work. You’re a byproduct,” Dr. Sellars (1) said.
Dr. Sellars (2) zipped up his coat. “There can’t be two of us.”
“Exactly, there’s only one of us that counts: the original.”
“How do we know?” Dr. Sellars (2) asked.
“A copy might have physical defects.” Dr. Sellars (1) walked over and tried to grab Dr. Sellars (2)’ face.
“Back off buddy! What makes you think you can touch me.”
Dr. Sellars (1) looked perplexed. “I just—“
“Let me examine your face. Was that mole always on your chin?”
“Of course. You know that.”
Dr. Sellars (2) brushed his hand through his hair. “Now you’re acknowledging we’re the same.” He took a few steps back. “But we’re not. You’re just some fluke.”
Dr. Sellars (1) walked toward him. “What’s the last thing you remember?”
“Stepping into the machine, the countdown.”
“Yeah, me too. It’s black after that.”
Dr. Sellars (2) fondled his keys. Let’s say we can’t decide who is the original, as a practical matter, who goes home to Amie?”
“You better not touch her you bastard!” Dr. Sellars (1) yelled.
“But it’s my wife too.”
Dr. Sellars (1) was frustrated. “Are you suggesting we share?”
“Maybe,” Dr. Sellars (2) said. “No, that’s ridiculous, I can’t do it.”
“Me either.”
“What about work, could we share that?” Dr. Sellars (2) asked.
“No. I work alone. You know that.”
“Do I,” Dr. Sellars (2) said. “What are we supposed to do?”
“I’m not giving you anything.”
“Yeah, I’m not giving you anything either.”
Dr. Sellars (2) looked intently at Dr. Sellars (1).
Dr. Sellars (1) smiled. “Go on. Blurt it out. You’re planning on killing me.”
“Well, it did cross my mind.”
Dr. Sellars (1) sighed. “Yeah, I’m planning on killing you too.”
“That’s a conundrum,” said Dr. Sellars (2), “who would win in a brawl?”
“Well I would just shoot you,” Dr. Sellars (1) said.
“I’d hire a hitman. I know a guy.”
“Yeah I know the guy too,” Dr. Sellars (1) mocked.
“You know we’ve killed before.”
“I know, we’re horrible people. What should we do?”
“You sure you can’t compromise?” Dr. Sellars (2) asked.
“No. Sorry.”
“Then we need to leave. Go to opposite sides of the globe. Start a new life.”
Dr. Sellars (1) fondled his keys. “I’ll go to Europe and you Asia—decide where later?”
“Agreed.”
Dr. Sellars (1) zipped up his coat. “If only we could teleport there.”
Dr. Sellars (2) walked over to the broken machine. “It should have worked.”
“Yeah, it should have…”
The two men shook hands and went their separate ways.
by submission | Sep 18, 2020 | Story |
Author: Naomi Eselojor
The Earth was dying. Scientists had predicted this day would come, but they never imagined it would be this soon. Volcanoes all over the world were erupting. There was a lighting storm raging, lighting buildings, and causing a rampaging fire. Massive wedge tornadoes stretched to the sky, compounding as they collided with houses, buildings, and cars. The earth’s core was unstable; it was only a matter of time before the earth was destroyed. Human technology was no match for mother earth herself. They felt her anger towards mankind, anger towards the humans neglected it that didn’t try to preserve and protect it.
Bianca and her boyfriend, Drun were at the hangar of his father’s space agency. Only one escape pod was left. They exchanged apprehensive looks as they stood beside it. The escape pod could only accommodate one individual. Bianca latched onto her boyfriend, her lips trembled, tears filled her eyes. Their chances of survival were as slim as a thread. There was little time to waste, the ground beneath them rumbled, the building shook forming cracks on the floor that spread to the walls and ceilings, thickening with every passing second.
“What do we do?” Bianca asked, nearly choking on her words. Drun smiled at her and tucked a loose strand behind her ear before pulling her in for a kiss. She needed it, especially now, when she had lost her parents, her three siblings, and her childhood friend to the giant cyclone whooshing outside. She needed to be with the man she loved, to savor the last moments with him because there was no way she would leave him behind. They would die together, together forever.
Drun pulled away from her, “I love you so much,” he said.
With the speed of a cheetah, he pushed the hatch open and shoved Bianca into the escape pod. The countdown began immediately. Bianca, flabbergasted at first, had now come back to her senses. She banged against the transparent window until her hands were sore. Drun looked at her with glossy eyes, “I love you,” he mouthed. At the count of one, the pod blasted off deep into the blackness of outer space.
Bianca, agitated, meddled with the controls. There should be a way to change the coordinates and set course for the earth, she told herself. Drun could still be alive, he had to be. She had lost everyone else already, she couldn’t lose him too. Hours of torment passed by and Bianca continued to bang buttons. Drun knew this would happen, he knew there’d be one pod left and so he programmed it to take her as far away as possible, he wanted her to start a new life, at some other galaxy. If only he knew that Bianca couldn’t live without him.
She finally succeeded in overriding the program, she typed in earth’s coordinates and at the speed of light, was transported back home, only, there was no earth anymore. She was too late, what used to be a green and blue planet, was now a cluster of debris. Her Drun was gone, her planet, gone, it had torn itself apart.
Tears couldn’t leave her eyes, the heaviness she felt within couldn’t amount to tears but the pain would become a part of her, a part of her that she would carry around all the days of her life. With Drun gone, there was no one else to live for. She altered the coordinates a second time. Last stop, the sun.
by submission | Sep 17, 2020 | Story |
Author: Nigel Anthony Sellars
Aliens Announce End to Abductions
ROSWELL, NM (ICUP)-In a stunning announcement today, the leaders of an interplanetary organization that kidnaps humans and subjects them to high colonic examinations said it was ceasing such kidnappings permanently.
The three members of the Alien Abduction and Anal Probing Society said their organization has finished its research on the human digestive system and human waste products.
“To tell the truth, we’re just tired of this shit,” said Sub-Commander Xjpfttt. “I think we know more than enough about emotionally disturbed people’s poop.”
“Plus the smell it leaves in our spaceships,” added Double Ensign Msrwffty. “You just can’t get it out of the ventilation system once it’s in there. Bleach, enzymes, radiation-nothing works. We had to sell three perfectly good space skimmers for spare parts.”
Quasi-lieutenant Vern Yahhhtgpr, who otherwise remained quiet during the press conference, nodded in agreement and held the portion of his face where a nose normally would be located.
Sub-Commander Xjpfttt explained that his race has been investigating the earth since the end of World War II after one of their vessels accidentally fell into a naked singularity near the Crab Nebula. The aliens (whose name is unpronounceable by humans but sounds like a washing machine undergoing catastrophic failure) said they initially chose lonely, isolated, and unimaginative individuals as subjects, believing them to be less than credible witnesses when they described their experiences to other humans.
“Frankly, we had no idea that it would become a growth industry,” Xjpfttt added. “What is it with you people? You take the ramblings of nitwits and either make them into multi-millionaire dollar industries or religions.”
“I mean, just look at this Pat Robertson being or feng shui,” Msrwffty said. “Are you folks really that gullible or are you just stupid?”
Sub-Commander Xjpfttt then explained that abductions of humans was initially unintentional and began when one vessel tried to offer assistance to a stranded couple whose car had broken down between Bangor, Maine, and the Canadian border. One of the pair asked to use the restroom, with the inevitable result. “Let’s just say the lady later asked if we had something called ‘K-O-Pecked 8’ onboard. We had no idea what she was talking about. In retrospect, I now wish we had.”
The crew had to cloud the minds of the couple, the sub-commander added, while the spaceship crew had to be decontaminated and undergo counseling. “Our scientists believed you had a potent biological weapon and decided we needed to study it.
Scientists on their homeworld then began demanding samples to determine just how it was a race could produce such potent methane emitting waste.
Sub-Commander Xjpfttt concluded the press conference by announcing that while abductions and close encounters would not be resumed, his race would continue probing Earth’s defenses for weak spots and would occasionally buzz bass fishermen in Mississippi because it was fun.
The U.S. Air Force had no comment on the press conference, but a government spokesman, speaking from an undisclosed area somewhere in the Nevada desert, said researchers had discovered a mass of hot air and swamp gas in the Roswell area, which they attributed it to a convention of right-wing talk radio hosts at the local Super 8. Motel.
We will provide further details as they are received.
