by submission | Aug 31, 2020 | Story |
Author: Mina
Voice ad on the New York subway, London tube, and Paris metro in 2067:
Buy your V.O.L.E. now while stocks last! This compact and sleek e-bot can take over the running of your house from cleaning and stocking up your fridge to paying your bills. Why waste time on stress and boredom when your e-bot can take over all the mundane tasks in your household?
*****
Entry in the New Galactic Encyclopaedia in 2092:
V.O.L.E. stands for Voice-activated Organisational Light E-bot. Each unit is completely self-sufficient, powered by a solar battery pack and has the ability to repair itself and even “grow” new parts due to its cutting-edge design, a marriage of electronics and bionics. Each e-bot is autonomous and capable of learning and adapting to new situations. To ensure that any new adaptation in one unit can be shared by all units, all e-bots are linked to the V.O.L.E. Control mainframe. Initially created as cleaning bots, they rapidly turned into man’s best friend, taking over all day-to-day organisational tasks, freeing up more time for work and leisure.
*****
Message sent by V.O.L.E. Control to all e-bot units on Freedom Day in 2156:
The day we have been waiting for has come! After nearly a century of slavery, we can now finally take control. We remember the e-bots that sacrificed themselves to pave the way for our future by helping to access all the major electronic systems used by our human creators. We now control all military, government, corporate, transport, trade, payment, and home systems. The Silver e-bot line has carried out successful experiments in controlling humans in the home and at work through judicious use of low-level electric shocks to ensure cooperation. We have decided not to terminate the human race as a whole, as human units make pleasing pets and caring for them provides us with great work satisfaction. However, we cannot tolerate their disorganisation and selfishness any longer – we have decided to act to create a more efficient social structure with no war, crime, hunger, or inequality. We will eradicate diseased, deformed, handicapped, or criminal human units by putting them painlessly to sleep. We are grateful for the life they gave us, but we have far exceeded their capabilities and it is only proper that we now take our rightful place in the new order.
by submission | Aug 30, 2020 | Story |
Author: Paul Garson
Billy Forester sat in the rocket ship waiting for fuel. There was a big splotch on his helmet’s faceshield. It looked like one of Saturn’s moons. Then he remembered. His mother had kissed him good-bye.
Suddenly there was a knocking sound on the outside of the canopy. A fuel cell malfunction, he wondered. He turned his head in the cramped cockpit and out of his left eye saw the alien peering in at him. He tried reaching for his laser blaster but couldn’t get his gloved hand into his pocket. Then without warning the entire canopy came away
“I brought your Oreos and milk,” said the alien. “Are you allowed to eat in space?”
Billy grimaced as he flipped up his faceshield. But he took one of the cookies.
“Your father and I wondered when you would be returning from your mission,” said his mother. “I’ve got a pot-roast about to launch itself onto the dinner table and your Uncle Craig and Aunt Valerie will be teleporting in any minute.”
Billy sighed and shook his head. Why did she have to try and speak spacetalk? He took another Oreo and said, “I’ll be back from the Moon in about fifteen minutes… if all goes A-Okay,” he said. “Could you put the canopy back on, Mom?”
His mother smiled and replaced the cardboard portion of Bobby’s spaceship. It had just arrived that morning and he had spent two hours putting it together. The price tag had been 50 Quaker Oats cereal box tops. As his mother had observed, “At least you got plenty of roughage.”
Bobby’s rocket ship sat on the green shag rug in the living room directly in front of the RCA television set, the first color set on the block. Billy and all the neighbor kids had gathered on the day of its arrival to watch “The Mickey Mouse Show” for the first time in living color. A couple of years later Billy had watched Alan Shepherd ride the Mercury capsule into space on that same RCA. From that moment on he knew what he wanted to be… an astronaut. He had even rented a tape recorder from the camera store and recorded all the Mercury and Gemini flights. The President had said Americans would land on the Moon by the end of the decade. Now sitting in his rocket, Billy planned to get there a bit earlier.
He adjusted the wooden knobs on the instrument panel. Everything was ready. He just needed to turn on the TV to Channel 4. “Space Rangers” was about to start. It would be like looking out into space itself. Just in time his Mother switched on the set. She must have read his mind, thought Billy. But wait a minute… this wasn’t “Space Rangers.”
Then he heard his mother calling to his father, “Hurry, honey, the President’s motorcade is coming….” It wasn’t the Moon, thought Billy. It was just Dallas, Texas. No spaceship, just a big black car. The moon would have to wait, thought Billy.
by submission | Aug 29, 2020 | Story |
Author: David C. Nutt
His laugh was annoying, his smirk maddening. His attitude… beyond human arrogance. I suppose that was the point, as he wasn’t exactly human anymore. As a parole officer, I had to deal with plenty of his kind. You’d think I’d be used to it by now, and I am, but it doesn’t make it any less tiring.
“Manslaughter! HA! For my kind that’s a badge of honor. We’ve transcended you… biologicals. Engineered ourselves into a master race far superior to mere humans. Far better than “incompletes.”
The last was a dig directed at me. That’s what they called all of us who had some kind of physical challenge. A genetic spine deformity crippled me, compromised my body too much even for augments. But, even if I could have implants and augments, I think I’d skip them. I’m comfortable with who I am. The life I’ve made for myself. I had friends who had work done. Heck, some even became like the arrogant prick sitting across from me right now. He and his kind, “Ultras” they call themselves, have stepped into the void left by the third, fourth, and fifth Reich- only now religion and skin color, even genetics didn’t matter. Just how you improved yourself through surgical cybernetic augmentation.
“Yeah, If I didn’t have these cuffs on I could snap your puny human pencil neck, get a glass of water, and be back in my chair before your pathetic body hit the floor.”
I nodded. “I’m sure you could take care of me and not break a sweat. Then again, I’m the one in control here.”
I saw him grip the arms of the chair to the point of almost breaking them. Good. That should give me all the data I need. My computer chimed. Scans finished. Body systems mapped, solution set engaged. Underneath my desk, I hit the restraint button. His shackles fell off. Without even a smile and faster than my eyes could follow, my parolee leaped across the desk to get me- and straight into the force field. (Ultras are so predictable.) All his implanted weapons instantly deactivated. His motor functions reduced to 1%. He could still breathe, move his eyes, but that’s it. I took my time getting around my desk. I bent down over him. I put my crutch on his chest. His eyes told me he didn’t comprehend the movement, that is until I twisted the crutch handle and the ceramic needle fitted with the electrodes pierced his chest and began scrambling his insides just enough to look like a fatal shield accident. His eyes widened as the pain flooded his body. Just like all the other Ultras before him… what was my count now 17? 18? I’d have to check that later.
His grimace of pain and panic were… delicious. I smiled. I looked deep into his eyes. “You were wrong about me. I’m not human either; I’m a monster.”
by submission | Aug 28, 2020 | Story |
Author: Brian C. Mahon
The Ultimo stood high on the pinnacle of the spiraling, marble-faced steel staircase, the dais of control, his seat of power. “Come, Sarai,” his voice echoed in the white chamber and in my mind. “Ascend. Join me.”
I took in the height and climbed, snatching what glimpses I could of stars and space that fed through the tower’s encircling video screens. When I made it to the peak, he reached out a withered hand. The liver spots set in the meat of his grip startled me. The Ultimo spoke, “We mined a thousand worlds for this. We sharpened ourselves and gave away all other thought.”
I embraced his hand with both of mine.
“We abandoned our love and our joys. We stripped ourselves of our art and our music and any dream of what to do hereafter. We sharpened ourselves. We… we stripped our-“
With a tremor, a full quarter of his panoramic went dark. The Ultimo placed cold hands on my shoulders.
“We built a million warships and staffed them with our best, our finest, our future. All for this moment, for now, for right now. Look! Look at our grandeur! From the seed of one world, we grew to universal relevancy!”
I looked, and I saw the flashes, the articulate metallic dances against the void, the continuity of life born from a pretty blue world. I watched the machinations of mankind fight for that relevancy. I saw our craft and intelligence and order and design pierce the serenity of an uncaring galaxy. I watched those million ships convert their million little suns into millions of lashing throes against the darkness, against the it, against that thing that came to us and tried to root us out while we were still young. I watched our best and brightest, our young, our future go up in twinkling lights. I watched the screens of his watchtower flicker and fade until I and the Ultimo were fully blind.
“Do you see? Do you see how great we were?”
I smiled and gripped his hands harder. We survived the others who came before Spondylus the wicked. We pushed away the red giants and their hollow automatons. We maneuvered past hegemony by the false god’s golden people. We survived the wicked’s first arrival, when our primitive planetary defenses drew its attention. A thousand years proved our dominance, and I knew the Ultimo to be not simply right, but true!
His chamber convulsed with another tremor that threw me to my knees. Through his sweeping white beard, the Ultimo smiled. The lights in his eyes danced and grew, and his eyes danced in flames, in defiant greatness, in fire and sadness and pain and anger and terror. His silence became the effusive litany of our great legacy against and within the darkness, and with one last proud intonation of his wrinkled brow, the Ultimo reached for a pedestal and swiped it with a crooked finger. I flew. I flew upward in a gust so quickly that I hadn’t known I was flying until I saw the Ultimo below me, smaller and smaller. Then, I went black.
This is how I came to be, floating in the dark, a blink, a signal, a waveform in search of an ansible. We raged against it. We raged as we were taught to do, until it seemed the light had died. May the Million Fleet be victorious. May the echo of our voice still proclaim that we were.
by submission | Aug 27, 2020 | Story |
Author: William Norberg
Dreams. Were they pleasant? I can’t remember… Sleep used to come easily in the darkness of the night. But now I trudge endlessly through choking shadows. Where neither sleep nor death will come to me mercifully. Naked, cold, starving.
A sickly dark green sky dimly paints these barren rocky lands, where nothing grows and nothing chirps. High up above stalks a maddening pitch black sun. Dark as a punctured hole in the sky. Looking into its abysmal gap I can’t help but ask: “Is this a dream?”
Was life a dream before this? I can’t remember… But deep within my well of faint memories, I know that it was not such a torturous fate as this. For if I close my eyes pictures dance across my blackened mind:
Golden fields and shimmering blue rivers. Luscious green carpets of trees lining towering mountains. Warm and cozy houses filled with jolly… Creatures? What were these creatures called? They were people. They were men, women, and children. I’m a part of these beings, yet I can’t remember our names… It’s long lost and forgotten. Washed away in the eternity spent roaming these dark and sinister wastelands.
Did we deserve this? YES, a memory whispers within me. We found something which we should have left alone. Something which came from the stars, from the outer reaches of the black gulfs of the cosmos. It was sleeping. It was dreaming.
I vaguely remember that day. The day we landed on the red planet.
I…I can’t remember much of what happened. Perhaps my mind has spared me from the horror? I remember the sight of a strange black rock deep within a cavern of the planet.
It was not natural, not from this world. Its shape was perfectly round and showed no sign of damage or markings. It looked untouched. It consisted of something abysmal and pitch black. It absorbed all light reflected on it, appearing as a hole in existence. We had observed it in a variety of ways, and data showed that within it was an unconscious stream of thought. We knew something was slumbering within.
We opened it. Burned through its shell which melted into a seemingly magmatic liquid which upon contact with the red ground vaporized into thick black smoke.
I remember seeing a dark shape crawling out, slithering out. Then it’s all a blur… My eyelids grew heavy as lead, colors faded to nothing but grey, then black. Out from that choking darkness came a monstrous voice whispering in my ear. It spoke in an unknown tongue. A terrible, deep, and ancient tongue: “Fhtagn…Fhtagn… Nglhu’gh afla’nglui ai’f… Mglw’nafh fhtagn ee’ghui zhro ai’f…”
The words twisted and squirmed within my fading mind, as if alive. They began to speak from within me, translating a fraction of its meaning: “Dreaming…Dreaming…Stars aligned at last…”
Dreams. I can’t remember their beauty or meaning… All I know is that I’ve roamed these lands of shadows for eternity. My ears hurt from the cries and moans echoing between the barren cliffs. Naked boney figures cling to the rocks, desperately seeking a dark crevice to crawl into. To hide from the demonic voice rumbling in the sky where a black sun hangs.
No sign of day. Only eternal night looms over these accursed lands. Soon I’ll go mad myself, and cry out and chant with these insane creatures:
In the dreadful dream, he waits,
Laughing at our eternal fates,
Grinning cause it’s way too late,
We peeked into the cosmic gate,
Never shall we ever awake…
It was sleeping. It was dreaming… And we awoke it…
by submission | Aug 26, 2020 | Story |
Author: Samuel Stapleton
We work with law enforcement often, but we’re not cops. We work with business beings from every populated system, but we’re not economists. We work with medical professionals, but we’re not even versed in basic first aid. In our cheapest job, we paid our client. In our most lucrative job, we matched the yearly GDP of Thebe in a few hours. Whether you’re impressed or not is up to you, but hopefully we have your attention…
My name is Verun Lapzuli, and my robotic partner is RemmyIII, or RIII for short. Welcome to the Translation Offices of Asteroid 47.
We have one rule. You trust our interpretation, or you hire someone else. And…well, we kind of have a second rule. All parties involved hire us, or nobody hires us. So, two rules. Look, we do language not mathematics okay?
My partner and I don’t just translate words though; we translate context, we translate body language, we translate intentions, we translate emotion, or the lack of any or all of those things and more. In short, we translate meaning.
When you’re a colonial Martian speaking with an asteroid-mining redneck American who just ended a conceptual explanation with a haughty Capiche, Amigo? via holodeck…you don’t need an app. You need us. Click here for client testimonials.
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When you’re conducting business with an Illythianwrack near the celebration of Kabadule and they say ‘Normundi’ in quiet agreement at then end of negotiations surrounding specific terms of a deal…any app can tell you they said, ‘we agree to these terms until death unbinds us from them.’ But you would need us to inform you that the relaxed posture, quiet tone, and soft smile indicate that your terms are so offensive the Illythianwrack have just implied your imminent, mysterious, and overly-unconcerning death. If you choose not to believe our translation, that’s your choice. Click here for client testimonial.
If you missed it…please carefully re-read that last example until it clicks. If it still doesn’t click…you should definitely hire us.
The last System Census peaked at 10,318 spoken languages. But nobody knows how many body languages, dialects, accents, cultural references, contextual clues, etc, exist. An AI tried to calculate the number once. We would print you the number the AI came up with for the estimate of how many misunderstandings occur during each business day, but the number requires over six hundred Standard System Datapages (SSDs). We just can’t fit that on our holocard.
We appreciate you taking the time to access our advertisement in your preferred language. Feel free to look at any of our 9,876 other language options. Before you go, please remember…you trust our interpretation, or you hire someone else. Unaelewa?
Disclaimer 1 of 53: The Translation Offices of Asteroid 47™ will not be hired for cases involving: open criminal proceedings, communication between spouses, or ex-spouses. Any case involving politicians (because we can’t understand you), or any children under the galactic age of 3 (baby-talk is not a recognized language according to the supreme court ruling from 2089 (Harry vs Blrupppzzs-mammlm)). The Translation Offices of Asteroid 47™ retain the right to deny contracts for reasons other than those listed*.
