Bad Reception
Author : Rocky Hutson
“They’re incompatible: He has no income and she has no patability.”
The middle aged couple entered the reception hall. Invited guests of the groom’s family, they were eager to give their condolences to the happy couple, Herkus and Midge, get back to the spaceport and leave Andromeda-five colony far behind them.
An adolescent boy neared them and the man stepped up. “Son, have seen Midge yet? She could have married any man she pleased, it’s just that she never pleased any.”
“Someone once told Herkus to be himself: They couldn’t have given him worse advice.” Said the lady.
“You could seduce her even if you played your cards wrong.”
“Oh, Mikal.” The woman rolled her eyes at her companion. “He has a face you don’t want to remember and can’t forget.”
“Yes, Raxine, but she looks like a professional blind date.”
The young man edged away as gracefully as possible. “Well Mikal, He is dark and handsome: When it’s dark, he’s handsome.”
“Right. And no one can say she’s two faced. If she had two, why would she be wearing that one?”
“Hey Mikal, there’s the happy couple, lets wander over. His mother-in-law calls him son, but she never finishes the sentence.”
“Someone ought to rent her out to a near-sighted knife thrower.”
Two young women friends of the bride stepped in front of Mikal and Raxine, as if to cut them off.
“Life is what you make it until he comes around and makes it worse.”
“Now Raxine, when she enters a room, mice jump on chairs.”
“And he has a fine personality, just not for a human being”
“Yeah and she’s a vision, a real sight.”
The two women backed off, opening a path to the newlyweds.
“Someday he’s going to go far, Mikal. Everyone hopes he’ll stay there.”
“She loves nature, in spite of what it did to her.”
“They’re inseparable. It takes several people to pull them apart.”
Midge squeezed Herkus’ arm. “I’ve never been so insulted, so humiliated in my life. Deal with them honey.”
Herkus walked over to the insulting couple. He extended his hand, gave Mikal a handshake and slipped one-hundred credits into his palm. The emcee pattered loudly. “Everyone give Mikal and Raxine a hand. They are the best insulters in this galaxy. You all know that if The Fates think a marriage starts too smoothly, they’ll mess it up later. Here’s to a long and happy marriage for Herkus and Midge.”
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