â€œSo what youâ€™re saying is thatâ€”â€
â€œWhat Iâ€™m saying is that I want you to look at me when you speak!â€ Christie scowled at her husband. It was an argument theyâ€™d had at least a dozen times in the six months theyâ€™d been married.
â€œThatâ€™s what webcams are for.â€ Joel was stiff and tense, as he always was when talking in person.
â€œNo. That is not the same.â€ Christie flung her arms out wide. â€œWe spent two years in a long-distance relationship, Joel! Is it too much to ask that you talk to me every once in a while, not the words I write on your computer screen?â€
â€œChristieâ€¦ canâ€™t weâ€¦ calm down and talk about this likeâ€¦ civilized people?â€ Joelâ€™s words always came after a delay in which he hesitated, going over them mentally, trying to make sure they were worded correctly before letting his wife see them.
â€œYou mean talk about it over instant messenger!â€
â€œNo, no, I just meanâ€”â€
â€œYou do! Donâ€™t deny it, Joel Eric Stevenson. You donâ€™tâ€¦ you donâ€™t love my body!â€ Christie used her Patented Wifeâ€™s Secret Weapon: the pouty trembling lip that threatened tears.
â€œNo!â€ Joel was aghast. â€œBaby, no. I love your body. I could look at it all dayâ€¦â€
â€œOn a computer screen! I want you to touch me, Joel! I want you, not some USB dildo! The Boyfriend Buddy was fine when we were just dating, but a wife deserves more! Donâ€™t we have a marriage?â€
Joel hastily crossed the room, awkwardly putting his hands on his wifeâ€™s shoulders and squeezing them. â€œOf course we have a marriage, sweetie,â€ he told her big brown doe-like eyes.
Christie sniffled artfully. â€œReally?â€
â€œReally,â€ Joel promised her.
â€œThen how about you prove it to me, you big strong man, you?â€ Christie smirked, her eyes glittering with mischief, and slid her hand suggestively around Joelâ€™s waist. Her husbandâ€™s eyes lit up.
â€œGreat! Iâ€™ll go log on!â€
Christie smacked her hand to her forehead. This was obviously going to take some work.