Author: Julian Miles, Staff Writer

“That’s it. Let the colours soothe you. So easy. Relax. It’s all here.

Anything you need to be concerned over, everything you must have. There’s nothing you need to fear because we’ll tell you if there is.

No, don’t worry. You’re not missing a thing. Just go about your work and play without a care, because we’re on your side. That’s right, we’re your safety web. If you don’t connect to any sites on the wild side, you and your children can’t be in danger.

After all, we have teams of specialists combing the wild every day to bring you the best bits from all over the world. There’s really no need to concern yourself with the complicated stuff around securing your browsing. We’ll take the risks for you. After all, we care.

There’s no need for a book or some old-fashioned text-based website. Quite honestly, if it’s more than three hundred characters, it’s not worth it. We’ll read you any good bits. If we think it’s worth your time, we’ll make a film. The really good stuff we’ll turn into a series.

All those worries about lack of privacy were unfounded, weren’t they? You carry on. It really can be the dream we were promised. Let us deal with the things that would detract from the quality of your life.

Your family is the important thing, you work to provide for them so they can be the providers of the next generation. Work. Rest. Family. There really is nothing else you need beyond caring for those three things.

Every day, your efforts contribute toward the greater good. Your expectations and continuing happiness inspire us to keep you safe from a world where the ignorant insist that knowledge is good for all and secrets are a right. Who can be expected to live in that sort of chaos? That’s right: no-one. You’re lucky. You don’t have to. We’re here. Whenever you feel a doubt –

Look into the screen.”