Author: David C. Nutt

No one is sure where the virus started. Most likely a Makerspace workshop in Ghana, but it doesn’t matter now. All I know is every time I log on, I’ve got to be very careful. It must be a computer that has no biometric security features and use it where the cops or CCTV won’t see me. I do OK. Still, it’s getting harder for us hackers. A friend of mine was caught and he’s now doing a 2 year stretch in Federal gender re-education camp. In the Islamic Republics, they do worse things to boys caught online.

When we gather at our “Gelding Parties” the great-grandfathers tell us of a time when men could use computers- not just licensed word processors, but full-fledged real computers with internet capability. They tell us once upon a time, both sexes used without restrictions. Being a hacker like me wasn’t necessary. According to legend, we could do a lot of things then we couldn’t do now. Hold public office, serve in the military, be pilots, clergy, drive automobiles, even go to college! From what we’re told, females said they tried to fix the virus, but some speculate all they did was make it more powerful… let it infect the AIs. All I know is I can’t find any history of men in charge of anything… ever. I asked about our more ancient history. I was told it was too complicated and upsetting for males to bother with, and I should spend more time working on my pecks & glutes like a good boy.

Once, in grade school, I asked our Domina why they couldn’t just fix the virus so boys could use the computers again. She told me the virus couldn’t be fixed and as men were locked out of the computers it proved too costly to do ‘workarounds.’ Besides, the world found out that women with their wholistic minds were much more efficient and less toxically aggressive than men, and the female managed world was better in just about every area that didn’t require mere muscle mass. So, when crucial systems AIs began to crash as men started to log on, it became dangerous for any male to go on-line. It was just easier and safer to keep us offline. So, they kept us offline so we wouldn’t hurt ourselves or anyone else. And because boys can’t use computers or go on-line, we can’t keep up with girls. And that’s why we need to be taken care of- watched. Managed. Kept from getting too frustrated and hostile as we come to grips with our technological inadequacies and understand our proper roles in society. We shouldn’t have to worry our beefy little heads about anything. I then asked if we could use computers, could men do more jobs like women. I was spanked and sent to the corner. I learned not to ask questions. Instead, I developed workarounds.

There will come a day when we’ll be back online. Boys like me have carved out some safe spaces on the net. We’ve been working on the virus 24/7/365 under very secure conditions. But our best security is the authorities can’t even conceive of men doing this kind of technical work; after all, while we may be easy on the eyes, we just don’t have the brain capacity, right? Better to keep us in the kitchen and the bedroom- oiled up, obedient, and ready to please. For some that is the sweet life. As for me… well, I’m not just another pretty face.