Author: Morrow Brady
The darkness enveloped me once again. I felt it veil my thoughts like it always did. Nothing ever prepares you for the rancid thought streams that ooze out during the shredding.
My only solace was to lock myself away, so the dark core memories could replay and the world could be spared of my true self. My shred room kept them safe.
During these dark times, mind boundaries would break down. Horrific memories locked away in mental quarantine would surge forward in vivid realism. Nothing was exempt. The worst gets replayed over and over. A crushing, compacting pain with no end in sight. Here in this room, I could wear the madness. Let it infiltrate and control me. And when it receded, I would be better for it. A hard reset designed by my maker. A systematic reminder of how to be human.
Nothing was safe in here right now. I was dangerous. Not to be trusted.
Tears streamed down my contorted features as hidden in-human strength tore chunks from impenetrable walls. A background track of hard trance boomed bassy notes, filling the seams between my memory reel of nightmares. I wretched forward into a doom-laden memory of a darkened rave corner where a proffered red pill loosened the secret codes inside my head. No rush would ever beat that and it was all downhill from there. There was no stopping me.
Thoughts of lost love burdened with meaningless arguments cascaded. A needful thing, rage-snapped to spite my face. Here, nothing I did would ever make a difference.
A screaming miner lay at my feet. His dirty crushed hand clutched tight, as blood spilled from a mangled mess onto the perforated steel floor of the lift cage. Freedom from his tortuous suffering far above where the shaft reached toward the sky.
A spray of bloody mist across my eyes as together we hit the dashboard. His crumpled features pulverised beyond recognition and his coffin falling into darkness.
And then she returned. In silent repose. Lit by jealousy. Lit by envy. A perfectly formed memory of that exact moment where unadulterated love fractured into validated hate.
“I know you’re good for me” She softly repeated.
I fell to my ageing knees, clawing tears from my pitted cheeks. The maelstrom had no end, each dark moment relived to slice fine parts from my flesh. She watched my suffering emotionless. Her words repeating over and over, pulping my doughy brain.
And then the routine had executed. In that shred room where I locked away my torment. The unbreakable room, time-locked for fear this passing insanity may become public. I gathered my mental pieces, aware that some were not how I left them. Somehow darker, more stained with hate. The guise was slipping. I slid back down the wave to the calmer waters and waded to the shore. The time lock went click and the door opened. I stood up and left the room.
From darkness, they all slowly faded into view. Distraught, disheveled, their rage faces towards mine. I hesitated as I struggled to recognise the dust-filled room.
“What do we do now Mr. President?” They shrieked from all directions.
“The country is a nuclear wasteland. There’s nothing left but this bunker and we can’t escape!”
There was no shred room in the bunker.
The shredding had arrived and my unleashed demons played their tune through me.
I had ordered hellfire against satan and the reprisal was annihilation.