Tales Told To The Dread Emperor

Author: David Barber

“And did they put up a fight?” the Dread Emperor asked.

Around the vast ill-lit throne room, flatterers, sycophants, and the rest of the nobility tensed. After another long day – it was forbidden to eat or drink in the Emperor’s presence, or to leave it – they were hoping there would be no bloodshed tonight, no risk of it getting out of hand again.

The Conqueror of Earth cleared his throat. “At first they would not admit the superiority of Your Imperial Majesty’s Space Navy. There was much slaughter. But the remnants offered their throats to the claw.”

The Emperor savoured this. “Describe my new planet.”

“Barsoom is an arid world, though home to numerous and varied races. They are a warlike folk…”

“Earth.” The Emperor leaned forward. Survivors say it is a terrible thing to be fixed by those eyes. “You said you conquered Earth.”

“I, I beg Your Imperial Majesty’s patience,” said the Admiral. “Some natives call it Barsoom, others Earth. It was one of the things they fought over.”

Others had sweated where the Admiral now stood.

“Continue.”

“The inhabitants of ah, Barsoom are divided by their colour. There are Reds and Greens for example. Some have four arms, some two. The females lay eggs…”

At each day’s end, the Dread Emperor summoned the military to tell him about the latest addition to his Empire. He had decreed it would expand by one planet every day, without end.

Terrifyingly for those who waited upon the Emperor, the discovery of new worlds to vanquish lagged far behind schedule. Instead, desperate Space Admirals announced the conquest of barren moons, or primordial worlds like peaches bruised by mould, and were executed while the Emperor ate a light supper.

By tradition, no two executions were alike, the Blood Guard being famed for its invention.

And then Earth was discovered. There was no great slaughter. The Conqueror of Earth never even left the home world. A lone scout venturing far beyond the edge of Empire had harvested Earth’s rudimentary datanet in a flyby and it had proved a treasure trove.

The military learned its lesson, and inhabited worlds were now conquered daily without fail. The court held its breath as Admirals answered the Dread Emperor’s enquiries into the culture, history, and sexual habits of wholly invented planets.

The Conqueror of Earth was back in the dressing room hanging up his costume. A Five Claw Space Admiral with Radium Cluster. All paste. The door banged open.

“What were you thinking?” shouted the director. “Barsoom was scheduled for tomorrow. I’ll have to move Dune forward.”

True, the actor had forgotten some lines, even so, it was the performance of a lifetime.

“You know we’re running out?” If the director had hair instead of scales, it would have torn it in frustration.

“You said there was a feast of tales.”

“Turns out most novels consist of Earthlings having a chat. Outer Space is hardly mentioned; even then we can’t mention rival empires. They’re mainly obsessed with terrible things happening to Earth. What’s wrong with them?”

“But we’ve still got Mongo? I’ve been rehearsing Mongo.”

“And Mote Prime and Perelandra and Skaro, but they don’t seem to be writing them like they used to. All this later stuff…”

“Dear chap, you have the resources of the Space Navy at your disposal. If the Earthers won’t write what you want, perhaps we should start knocking them out ourselves. Try world-building instead of world-conquering.”

It was rather pleased with that.

“I mean, how hard can it be?”

Wildfires

Author: Shon-Lueiss Harris

You expect the world will fall apart. It’s the one thing scientists, evangelicals, and politicians seem to agree on. One day, maybe in our lifetimes, it’s all going to end.

Except it doesn’t just end.

It starts with a kid, a bag of firecrackers, and a particularly dry Saturday afternoon. Not exactly what the eggheads in D.C expect to move the doomsday clock to midnight, but life can be surprising like that.

It gets worse, so you get ready. You go to Amazon, order an air purifier, and congratulate yourself on being prepared.

The kid’s mistake turns into a natural disaster. Politicians across the globe offer imaginative connections between their opponents and the fire. They urge you to vote in an election almost a year away. They say they can save you, eventually.

You forget what shade of blue the sky is. The taste of fresh air and what breathing felt like before your chest began to burn. You remember to vote.

They say you made the right choice.

Smoke from the fire covers a third of the globe. Global temperatures drop. Farmers work desperately to grow enough food, but the ash of the dead poisons the crop.

They say the economy is booming. They call you resilient before a doctor helps them put the oxygen mask back on. If they’re trying to be subtle, it’s not working.

You catch the sunrise one morning and feel hopeful. As the day goes on that hope spoils. You realize those glorious streaks of red and orange aren’t heavenly rays. This is a new level of fear.

Somewhere in all this chaos you screw up. You hunker down thinking you’ll weather the storm, only to be Pompeiied. Maybe you decide to leave but fail to plan ahead, and instead of escaping a hellish fate, you’re baked alive in your car (you always said traffic was killing you). Then again, you could be one of the countless people who simply forget to put your mask on before running outside.

If you’re one of the survivors, congratulations. Thoughts and prayers are now on the way from an undisclosed, underground bunker. Or at least that’s probably the case. They’ve gone quiet as of late.

Something clicks. An epiphany, like scales falling from your eyes.

Nobody is coming.

And if you survive that thought — if you don’t find the nearest deadly object and end it there — then everything changes.

You get ready. A mask to protect your lungs. Goggles to keep the neighbors out of your eyes. A sturdy bag with water, food, and plenty of room for anything you find. A gun, because feeling the rubbery grip in your hand calms your nerves a little. These are the tools with which you’ll forge a future.

The outside world is unrecognizable. You see grey skies. Not overcast, but a blanket of smoke so thick that you wonder if the sun has abandoned you, too. A sickly haze looms over the scorched earth like an empty pan forgotten on the stove, left to burn. It’s all a muddy blur of black and brown shapes obscured by a warped, grey film.

It’s a cold, empty ruin of a place.

But you walk out anyway. Maybe you doubt everything could just burn away. Could it be you’re hopeful, despite all that you have seen? Whatever your mental state, you put foot in front of foot. You feel something under your boot.

One small step. One small plant.

You smile.

Time to Sleep

Author: Julian Miles, Staff Writer

“You know, I think Adolph is rightly regarded as inspirational.”
Darius spins round, his expression horrified.
“That’s not how I’d describe Kristallnacht, Mister Lamen!”
Russ Lamen points at the screen.
“Crystal-what? I mean his first exhibition of watercolours at the Neue Galerie in Vienna. 9th of November, 1938. He even broke new ground by having a midweek opening.”
Darius crosses the room as quick as he can.
“What the Holy Fires has gone wrong?”
Russ looks up at him, a look of blank incomprehension on his face.
“We’re overviewing Adolphus Alois Hitler, first master of the post war period. Given that a number of his early works were lost during the American invasion of Europe, Professor Dagenauer got permission for chronoimaging to bring the reference portfolio up to date. I thought the first exhibition was the most likely place to find the missing pieces, and in a setting conducive to high quality image capture.”
“Good thought, Russ.”
Darius steps away and looks about. Nothing untoward. He brings up his Chronopol managerial access and checks Hitler’s timeline. There! A huge swing in chronobalance, affecting the whole of October 1918. But, after that, the problematic ‘assassination attempt’ period that usually caused Chronopol so much grief had dropped to nothing.
He looks up at the ceiling. The Tienard – unseen future dwellers who established the agencies that police the timelines – hadn’t raised an alert, and they’d left his managerial causality buffer in place. This peaceful Hitler wouldn’t be the only Hitler he knew of until he next awoke.
What had happened? Clearly not an assassination, but such a pivotal being and the resilient causality surrounding him cannot have just decided to go a different way. Someone had meddled, and done so extremely well.
Stepping out of the control room, he routes a priority call uptime. This has got to be an enormous gaffe. It needs fixing before causality – which has ruined every attempt at establishing alternate timelines – kicks in and delivers some unexpected cataclysm to achieve the same effect as World War Two and the century of stagnation that followed.
“This is Control. Why the alert, Captain Kane?”
“We’ve got a huge, unrectified anomaly linked to C20 Hitler.”
“One moment. Patching you through to Tienard Ultam.”
Ultam? He’s going to talk with one of the founders of Chronopol?
“Darius Kane. We are aware of the situation. It has taken far longer to reoccur than we expected, but all remains within mandate.”
“Mandate? We’re about to have a cataclysm that could obliterate two centuries of evolution and memory.”
“Captain Kane, what I tell you now will not persist past the chronophasic reset you will experience when you next sleep. As I feel a certain obligation due to knowledge of a service you will render me in a time to come, I am prepared to accept the minimal risk entailed by assuaging your concern.
“The timeline you are now in is the one that leads to us. It is the only one that does so. We have spent longer than you can comprehend trying to restore this chronoinstance while sustaining the paradox we represented until a few minutes ago. The pivotal event in October 1918 must remain a mystery. We have survived too many near-obliterations to say anything else, except to conclude that Causality likes mysteries. The ramifications of that are not open for discussion. Continue with your duties, Captain.”
The line goes dead.
“Causality likes mysteries?” It comes out as a whisper.
Impossible, incomprehensible…
Intolerable. Darius runs toward his quarters. He’ll forget when he sleeps? Then it’s time for a nap.

Gutterfish Prime

Author: Ken Poyner

I start evenings at six o’clock. Delta is usually on her porch in her shimmering yellow superhero costume. I excitedly wave and holler, “Good evening, Delta. Good day in the City?”

She may not have gotten that day into the city, but she will say “Evening. Absolutely!”, adding the exclamation point whether she made it into the city or not. She carries a shield and two sets of bolos, and sometimes she just does not care to lug all that on the bus, so she hangs out on her porch and pretends she went in to work in the city as one of its superheroes.

I walk to work, since it is just a casual stroll to Forest Lawn Cemetery, less than four blocks down and one street over. Six to two, I walk the dead. Not zombies. Just confused dead who like to get out, but don’t really have their own plan for doing so.

There are not many who choose this profession. Most, like Delta, take an identity as a superhero, or supervillain, or some shapeshifter. Not much glory in walking the dead; but, if I did not do it, likely no one would. My other neighbor, Jim, is a deadeye sheriff. It works for him, but I have no envy.

Tonight, first on my schedule is a girl who died in the last yellow fever epidemic. Lucky to be in Forest Lawn, as so many died in the plague that they committed quite a few to mass graves. Walkers almost never get out to mass graves. A bit confusing. Sometimes not even the dead know who they are. Hard to tell everyone apart.

Just a quick light-hearted promenade around the block, a little small talk. After her, a recent internment: a real estate broker who died mid-real estate deal and who hasn’t finally gotten over not making that last sale.

I try to listen attentively. I offer confirmation. I nod in agreement. There would not be much to break their morbid monotony otherwise. It is a simple job – but, to them, I am some kind of hero, the essential number that allows them to have a viable mathematics. They know I could have chosen some other ego archetype – fought crime, solved mysteries, kept the world safe, plotted world destruction, whatever. But someone has to look in on the world’s less glamorous needs.

I get to the cemetery and the ground is just opening up. Seven appointments, with a break at midnight for dinner. Sometimes I sit with some random corpse while I eat, happily on the job even when I am not on the clock.

No, no costume, no appliances. Think shoes. Shoes. The salesman at Belmont’s who sold me on these low arch walking shoes: now, he is the real hero. Knew just what would work for me. No bright colors, but a good solid durable shoe that doesn’t cry after a long walk. Laces that stay tied, not those tubular ones that work themselves free after a few blocks. Good advice taken. I could never rely on Jim or Delta for those flavors of decision. You have got to give full credit to where a real value lies. Shoes.

Mitosis

Author: Nicholas Schroeder

Dr. Sellars set up the teleportation machine. He was done waiting. It was time to test it. He powered up and stepped inside. The system initiated and vibratrons filled the chamber. “Here we go.”

“Countdown: 5, 4, 3, 2, … System Error!” The machine aborted sending a powerful energy wave collapsing the ceiling.

Two identical bodies emerged from the rubble.

“My head.”

“My head.”

They pointed at each other. “A copy!”

“A copy!”

“What! I’m not a copy.”

Dr. Sellars (1) examined Dr. Sellars (2). “Yes you are.”

“No, I’m the one that stepped into the machine. I’m the original.”

Dr. Sellars (1) wiped the grime off his face. “I’m the original.”

“Well, who is closer to the machine?”

“I don’t know, the explosion flung us.”

Dr. Sellars (2) wiped the grime off his face. “Where we unconscious?”

“I believe so.”

Dr. Sellars (1) ran over to the machine. “It’s destroyed.”

“What the hell happened. Did it split us?”

“No, it didn’t work. You’re a byproduct,” Dr. Sellars (1) said.

Dr. Sellars (2) zipped up his coat. “There can’t be two of us.”

“Exactly, there’s only one of us that counts: the original.”

“How do we know?” Dr. Sellars (2) asked.

“A copy might have physical defects.” Dr. Sellars (1) walked over and tried to grab Dr. Sellars (2)’ face.

“Back off buddy! What makes you think you can touch me.”

Dr. Sellars (1) looked perplexed. “I just—“

“Let me examine your face. Was that mole always on your chin?”

“Of course. You know that.”

Dr. Sellars (2) brushed his hand through his hair. “Now you’re acknowledging we’re the same.” He took a few steps back. “But we’re not. You’re just some fluke.”

Dr. Sellars (1) walked toward him. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Stepping into the machine, the countdown.”

“Yeah, me too. It’s black after that.”

Dr. Sellars (2) fondled his keys. Let’s say we can’t decide who is the original, as a practical matter, who goes home to Amie?”

“You better not touch her you bastard!” Dr. Sellars (1) yelled.

“But it’s my wife too.”

Dr. Sellars (1) was frustrated. “Are you suggesting we share?”

“Maybe,” Dr. Sellars (2) said. “No, that’s ridiculous, I can’t do it.”

“Me either.”

“What about work, could we share that?” Dr. Sellars (2) asked.

“No. I work alone. You know that.”

“Do I,” Dr. Sellars (2) said. “What are we supposed to do?”

“I’m not giving you anything.”

“Yeah, I’m not giving you anything either.”

Dr. Sellars (2) looked intently at Dr. Sellars (1).

Dr. Sellars (1) smiled. “Go on. Blurt it out. You’re planning on killing me.”

“Well, it did cross my mind.”

Dr. Sellars (1) sighed. “Yeah, I’m planning on killing you too.”

“That’s a conundrum,” said Dr. Sellars (2), “who would win in a brawl?”

“Well I would just shoot you,” Dr. Sellars (1) said.

“I’d hire a hitman. I know a guy.”

“Yeah I know the guy too,” Dr. Sellars (1) mocked.

“You know we’ve killed before.”

“I know, we’re horrible people. What should we do?”

“You sure you can’t compromise?” Dr. Sellars (2) asked.

“No. Sorry.”

“Then we need to leave. Go to opposite sides of the globe. Start a new life.”

Dr. Sellars (1) fondled his keys. “I’ll go to Europe and you Asia—decide where later?”

“Agreed.”

Dr. Sellars (1) zipped up his coat. “If only we could teleport there.”

Dr. Sellars (2) walked over to the broken machine. “It should have worked.”

“Yeah, it should have…”

The two men shook hands and went their separate ways.

Till Death Do Us Part

Author: Naomi Eselojor

The Earth was dying. Scientists had predicted this day would come, but they never imagined it would be this soon. Volcanoes all over the world were erupting. There was a lighting storm raging, lighting buildings, and causing a rampaging fire. Massive wedge tornadoes stretched to the sky, compounding as they collided with houses, buildings, and cars. The earth’s core was unstable; it was only a matter of time before the earth was destroyed. Human technology was no match for mother earth herself. They felt her anger towards mankind, anger towards the humans neglected it that didn’t try to preserve and protect it.

Bianca and her boyfriend, Drun were at the hangar of his father’s space agency. Only one escape pod was left. They exchanged apprehensive looks as they stood beside it. The escape pod could only accommodate one individual. Bianca latched onto her boyfriend, her lips trembled, tears filled her eyes. Their chances of survival were as slim as a thread. There was little time to waste, the ground beneath them rumbled, the building shook forming cracks on the floor that spread to the walls and ceilings, thickening with every passing second.

“What do we do?” Bianca asked, nearly choking on her words. Drun smiled at her and tucked a loose strand behind her ear before pulling her in for a kiss. She needed it, especially now, when she had lost her parents, her three siblings, and her childhood friend to the giant cyclone whooshing outside. She needed to be with the man she loved, to savor the last moments with him because there was no way she would leave him behind. They would die together, together forever.

Drun pulled away from her, “I love you so much,” he said.

With the speed of a cheetah, he pushed the hatch open and shoved Bianca into the escape pod. The countdown began immediately. Bianca, flabbergasted at first, had now come back to her senses. She banged against the transparent window until her hands were sore. Drun looked at her with glossy eyes, “I love you,” he mouthed. At the count of one, the pod blasted off deep into the blackness of outer space.
Bianca, agitated, meddled with the controls. There should be a way to change the coordinates and set course for the earth, she told herself. Drun could still be alive, he had to be. She had lost everyone else already, she couldn’t lose him too. Hours of torment passed by and Bianca continued to bang buttons. Drun knew this would happen, he knew there’d be one pod left and so he programmed it to take her as far away as possible, he wanted her to start a new life, at some other galaxy. If only he knew that Bianca couldn’t live without him.

She finally succeeded in overriding the program, she typed in earth’s coordinates and at the speed of light, was transported back home, only, there was no earth anymore. She was too late, what used to be a green and blue planet, was now a cluster of debris. Her Drun was gone, her planet, gone, it had torn itself apart.

Tears couldn’t leave her eyes, the heaviness she felt within couldn’t amount to tears but the pain would become a part of her, a part of her that she would carry around all the days of her life. With Drun gone, there was no one else to live for. She altered the coordinates a second time. Last stop, the sun.