Author: David Berger

(The Phenomenon Known As “Soulmates” – Ms. Blu)

“Why are you always complaining?” my wife asked me one night from across the kitchen. “You’ve got me; you love your work; we have a nice home; good friends; the sex is great.”

“Yeah, great,” I said.

“Is there a problem with our sex life?” she asked.

“Could we change the subject?” I asked.

“No!” she said. “We have to keep things straight between us! You know that! It’s important far beyond the two of us! We’re really a role model as a couple! You know that!”

(I loved the way those two big metallic purple corkscrews came out of the top of her forehead when she got angry.)

“Okay, yes,” I said. “Our sex life is sort of great.”

“Look, Sweetie,” she said to me. “You know how it has to be. I keep my energy level up as high as I can without hurting you. Just last week, you got a nasty little blister on your … .”

“Yeah,” I said. “But sometimes … .”

“Sometimes what?” she said. “Sometimes what? Are you going to start that complaining about my people coming over here again?”

“No, it’s just that … .”

“Just what? My crew are planetary ecologists. We came here and we saw what rotten shape your world was in!”

(Her eyes were turning into lovely, purple compound kaleidoscopes.)

“We were doing okay.”

“BS! First, we had to disarm all your nuclear weapons.”

“We were having disarmament talks.”

“You’ve been having them for a hundred years. Face it, your people like war.”

(Her skin began to harden and turn a wonderful shade of orange.)

“That’s not fair,” I said.

It’s completely fair, and that’s why we had to outlaw war. No armed forces cross any borders. And missiles, planes, subs, drones and military satellites are all banned because we know how you like to cheat.”

(Those two amazing extra legs sprouted from her waist.)

“We could have done all that ourselves.”

“Right, Sweetie. Sure you could. You’ve only had about six thousand years of your civilization to do it.”

“You’re not fair to us. We were trying.”

“Of course you were Darling. And then we sucked all the excess CO2 and methane out of your atmosphere and kept you from burning this big blue beachball up.”

(That fuzzy stuff began to grow out of all her arms!)

“We were negotiating climate change.”

“Naturally you were, Tootsie. And that’s why you got heatstroke five years ago in Greenland on our first date.”

(She began to walk towards me, drawing herself up to her full height of two-and-a-half meters.)

“You’re exaggerating. At least we finally got socialism!”

“Of course you did, after we seized all the banks and industries from the zillionaires and you had to take them over and run them yourselves.”

“Well, we did it.”

“Yes, you did, Snuggums. And everything is cool, now.”

(She grabbed me with her four upper limbs and began to squeeze me tight.)

“Would you like to make love?”

“I sure would! Could you turn your energy level up, just a little?”

1 Comment

  1. rjerbacher

    Sounds like sex with her would be interesting (and dangerous). Good story.

Submit a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Random Story :

The Past

365tomorrows launched August 1st, 2005 with the lofty goal of providing a new story every day for a year. We’ve been on the wire ever since. Our stories are a mix of those lovingly hand crafted by a talented pool of staff writers, and select stories received by submission.

The archives are deep, feel free to dive in.

Flash Fiction

"Flash fiction is fiction with its teeth bared and its claws extended, lithe and muscular with no extra fat. It pounces in the first paragraph, and if those claws aren’t embedded in the reader by the start of the second, the story began a paragraph too soon. There is no margin for error. Every word must be essential, and if it isn’t essential, it must be eliminated."

Kathy Kachelries
Founding Member


We're open to submissions of original Science or Speculative Fiction of 600 words or less. We only accepting work which you previously haven't sold or given away the rights to. That means your work must not have been published elsewhere, either in print or on the web. When your story is accepted, you're giving us first electronic publication rights and non-exclusive subsequent publication rights. You retain ownership over your story. We are not a paying market.

Voices of Tomorrow

Voices of Tomorrow is the official podcast of 365tomorrows, with audio versions of many of the stories published here.

If you're interested in recording stories for Voices of Tomorrow, or for any other inquiries, please contact